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Pavel Afanasyevich Famusov, head of office Sofia Pavlovna, his daughter Lizzie, maid Alexey Stepanovich Molchalin, Famusov's secretary living in his house Alexandr Andreyevich Chatsky Colonel Skalozub, Sergey Dmitriyevich The Goriches: Natalia Dmitriyevna, young lady Platon Mikhailovich, her husband Count Tugoukhovsky Countess, his wife with six daughters The Khryumins: Countess, the granny Countess, the daughter Anton Antonovich Zagoretsky Old Khlyostova, Famusov's sister-in-law Mr. N. Mr. D. Repetilov Petrushka and some footmen A large number of guests of all ranks and footmen engaged at departure of guests. Famusov's waiters.
A sitting room with a big clock in it, to the right is Sofia's bedroom door, the sound of a piano and a flute come from Sofia's room, then the music ceases. Lizzie is asleep hanging down from the armchair (It is morning. The day is just about to break.)
Lizzie (wakes up suddenly, raises from the chair, looks around): It's dawning! ...Oh! How fast The night has passsed! They didn't let me go to bed «In expectation of a friend». I had to be on the alert, It's only now that I could doze Sitting like this, in such a pose! I could have fallen from the chair! It's dawn... They must be unaware... (knocks at Sofia's door) Sir! Madame! What a plight! You have been chattering all night, Sir, are you deaf? Ma'am, do you hear? No, they do not seem to fear. (walks away from the door) Look out, uninvited guest! The father may appear! I serve a loving woman, yes! (moves to the door again) It's time to part. Stop that conversation!
(Sofia's voice): What time is it?
Lizzie:
The house is all in agitation.
Sofia (from her room): What is the time?
Lizzie: It is about seven, eight or nine...
Sofia (from the same place): It isn't true.
Lizzie (goes away): Ah, this damn amour! They do not want to get me right... Those shutters keeping out the light! I'll put the clock a little on, although There'll be a row, I know. (gets on the chair, moves the hour hand; the clock strikes and plays the tune)
Scene 2
Lizzie and Famusov.
Lizzie: It's you, sir ?
Famusov: Yes, it's me. (stops the clock music) You naughty little mischief maker! I didn't know! I had just wondered what it could be: Now it's a flute, now it's a piano, It's much too early in the day For Sofia to play.
Lizzie: No, sir... For once... I did it quite by chance.
Famusov: That's it: I must be on the watch indeed, It was intended to be sure. (cuddles up to her) You naughty girl, you mischief maker, you are!..
Lizzie: Naughty yourself! The words you say Do not befit you, do they?
Famusov: You're modest but the frivolous kind, Frivolities and mischiefs are all you have in mind.
Lizzie: It's you who's frivolous, let go, will you? Compose yourself, old man.
Famusov: I'm not quite old.
Lizzie: Should somebody come in, what shall we do?
Famusov: Who may come here now, uncalled? Is Sofia asleep?
Lizzie: Just gone to bed.
Famusov: Just now? And what about the night?
Lizzie: She read.
Famusov: The kind of whim she has,you see?
Lizzie: She's reading there under lock and key.
Famusov: You tell her what: she mustn't spoil her sight For reading is of little worth. It's just a fashion. She doesn't sleep from reading French at night, I fall asleep when I read Russian.
Lizzie: When she gets up I'll tell her so, You'll wake her up, I'm afraid, please go.
Famusov: I'll wake her up? Why, it is you not me Who starts the clock and makes it play a symphony.
Lizzie (raising her voice): Now stop it, will you?
Famusov (shutting her mouth): Why shout like that? Are you going mad?
Lizzie: There's something wrong about it, I fear.
Famusov: About what, my dear?
Lizzie: You ought to know for you're not a little one: Young wemen'ssleep is light at down, They hear every whisper, a door creak, or a sigh, They hear everything.
Famusov: No, it's a lie.
Sofia: (her voice comes from her room) Ah, Lizzie!
Famusov: (quickly) Hush! (Tiptoeing out of the room hurriedly)
Lizzie (alone in the room) He's gone. Beware of masters, they Will cause you trouble anyday. Of all the woes may God deliver us from both From their love and their wrath.
Scene 3
Lizzie, Sofia candle in hand, followed by Molchalin.
Sofia What's up, Liz? You're making such a noise...
Lizzie You find it hard to part, of course, Locked up all night -- it is enough, my lady.
Sofia My, it's the break of day already! (puts out the candle) It's light and gloom. The night's so quick to pass!
Lizzie You may be gloomy. And I feel much worse. Your father took me by surprise, I shifted, dodged and told him lies. (to Molchalin) Don't stand like that! Just take your bow, I see that you are scared, and how! Look at the clock. Now just look out -- People are long up and about, And in the house all is in motion: They're knocking, walking, cleaning, washing.
Sofia Happiness takes no account of time.
Lizzie You watch the time or not, it's up to you; I'm in for trouble, I shall get my due.
Sofia (to Molchalin) Now you must go. We'll have another tedious day.
Lizzie God bless you! Take your hands away! (Separates them; Molchalin runs into Famusov in the doorway)
Scene 4
Sofia, Lizzie, Molchalin, Famusov.
Famusov What a surprise! It's you, Molchalin?
Molchalin Yes.
Famusov What brings you here, at this hour? Do confess. And, Sofia, you, too. Please tell me why You got up early today? Don't tell a lie. How do you come to be together now?
Sofia He just came in.
Molchalin I walked around, that is how.
Famusov Now tell me please, old bloke: Cannot you choose a better place to walk? And you, young lady, hardly out of bed -- There is a man around! By your side! You read those silly books at night And that's the fruit of it, I bet. The French! With all their fashion shops and streets, Their books and writers and artists, They break our hearts, they make our mony fly, I wonder why God will not save us from their needles, pins, Their bonnets, hats and all the other things.
Sofia I'm sorry, father, I'm feeling ill at ease, I'm so scared, I can hardy breathe. You were so quick to come. My God! I'm confused.
Famusov Well, thanks a lot! I took you by surprise! I scared and disturbed you! Very nice! My dear Sofia, I dare say, I'm upset myself. All day I have to run about, full of care and bother. Now one keeps pestering me now another. Could I expect the trouble of being told a lie?
Sofia (through tears) Whom by?
Famusov Well, I may be reproached that I Keep grumbling all the time for nothing. Now don't you cry. I'll tell you something: I've given you support and care. Your mother died. I took on this madame, Madam Rosiet, your second mere. A granny with a heart of gold I found for you, So quick and wise, and of high morals, too. There is one thing that doesn't do her credit though: For extra half a thousand or so, She had the nerve to leave our house... But anyhow it is boyond her powers. Just look at me: I'm no boaster, I'm strong and fresh, althought my hair is grey, I'm a widower, I'm free, I'm my own master And of monastic chastity, they say.
Lizzie May I?
Famusov No, do shut up! The wretched times! You don't know what to open up! I see nowadays People grow wise before their years, The daughters do, so do the old good men. Who need the languages we learn? We hire tutors, resident or not, That teach our daughters everything: To court And give a sigh, to sing and dance, As if they wished to marry them to clowns. You, visitor? Do you want anything? From a nowhere man in God forsaken Tver I made you an assessor and a secretair. Without me you would have surely been A nobody. You, man without kith and kin!
Sofia I don't know why you should be angry, father. He's living here, in this house. So what? He walked to one room and got into another.
Famusov He got where he wanted, did he not? Why is he here, uninvived?
Sofia I'll tell you. Well, it goes like this: When you were here, you and Lizz, I heard your voice and was so frightened That I came running like a shot.
Famusov She'll put the blame on me, it seems. I came out of time and got them caught!
Sofia You caught me nodding, I had dreams. I'll tell you and you will understand.
Famusov What dreams had you?
Sofia Shall I tell you?
Famusov (sits down) Yes, if you can.
Sofia Well... Listen... First I see A fragrant meadow and then me Looking for some kind of grass, I don't remember which, alas. Then comes a gentleman, one of those men That make at once an old good friend. A man so tactful, wise, as well as Shy, you know those poor fellows.
Famusov Don't talk to me about the poor. A poor man is not a match for you.
Sofia And then all vanishes: the meadoms and the sky --like magic! We are in a room. It's dark. Then, just imagine: Down goes the floor and you come up. And now the door flys open with a bang, And in burst monstrous creatures, like a gang. They fall upon the man, they tear us apart, I reach for him: he seems so dear to my heart, You hold him back and take away with you, And this to hooting, jeering, whistling -- boo! Then he starts shouting. I woke up there... Someone was chatting. It was your voice, yes, it was you. So I rushed out to find that you were two.
Famusov Too bad a dream it is indeed. I see there's everything in it: The devil, love and flowers, fright. Too bad! Well, sir, what do you say to that?
Molchalin I heard you voice...
Famusov It's really strange. What's there in my voice? Did they arrange To hear my voice and come around like a clock? Why did you come on hearing me talk?
Molchalin The papers, sir.
Famusov The papers? Oh what an idea! What made you care for them, my dear? Why all this zest? (raises) Now Sofia, I'll set your mind at rest; Dreams can be strange but I should think Reality is a more frightful thing. You looked for grass but in the end You found a friend. Well, put tha tout of your head, Forget the miracles -- they're all wrong. You'd better go now back to bed. (To Molchalin) Show me your papers, come along.
Molchalin I want to tell you, sir, instead: The papers are in such a mess! They will be null and void unless They're certified And all put right.
Famusov I'm awfully afraid They might pile up, accumulate. I know your kind. You'd keep them all Stuck up for days in a pigeon-hole. I'd rather have a paper signed. Once signed -- it's out my mind! (He and Molchalin exit. He makes way to Molchalin at the door)
Scene 5
Sofia and Lizzie.
Lizzie The holiday is coming! Time for fun! To me the day is not a happy one. My eyes are dim, my heart is blue. The sin does not much worry me, the rumours do.
Sofia I do not care for rumours. Let them be! Though father will keep crying shame on me. He always grumbles, scolds and makes one feel unhappy. You know what he can do now after what happened.
Lizzie He'll lock you up. That's what he'll do. I wish he locked up me with you, I'm afraid, he'll go as far as firing us: Molchalin, me and all the others.
Sofia I'm thinking, happiness is so wayward! A worse thing happens, yet you get away with it, For once all worries seemed to be away, We were lost in music, unaware of time of day, It seems that fate was guarding us: The time just flew. No doubt, no alarm... But trouble comes out of the blue.
Lizzie That's it! You never listen to my foolish judgement. I told you many times, and I'll say it again This love of yours is all in vain. You wouldn't find a better profit. Listen, please: Like all the muskovites your father is like this: He wants a son-in-law with ranks and stars, Not all of them are rich, alas. He wishes he had money into the bargain To live in clover, give a party now and again Take colonel Skalozub, for instance, he isn't bad: A would be general and very rich at that.
Sofia It's nice! To hear him talk of ranks and lines! I'd rather take my own life Than marry him and be his wife.
Lizzie He isn't bright. He merely talks a lot. Of all the men, civilian or not, There's Chatsky whom I really regard As most considerate, intelligent and smart. It's past and gone, Sofia, hence You shouldn't really take offence.
Sofia What's that? I must admit He's extreemly sensitive and full of wit. He can make fun like no one else, You should have heard the jokes he tells!
Lizzie Oh is that all? He wept when parting with you, I recall. I tried to comfort him and asked him why he cried, «There is a reason,» -- he replied, -- «For noone knows what I may gain Or lose when I am back again.» He seemed to know that in a year or two...
Sofia Stop talking liberties, will you? I may have acted thoughtlessly, I know, I do regret. But who was I unfaithful to? Can anybody blame me for a breach of faith? Well, no! Chatsky and I gew up together, that is true. We were friends in childhood days, And then he left, and ever since He rarely visited our place, He found our house dull, it seems, And then again he showed affection, Pretending love, consideration. He's witty, wise, a man of eloquence, And he is good at winning friends, But now he thinks he is too clever... He took to travelling, which is not bad, However, if he loved someone, he'd never Go on a lasting trip like that.
Lizzie What trip? Is Chatsky travelling far? They say, he took a treatment at a spa, It was a cure of idleness among the cripple.
Sofia That's right. He's happy among the queer people. The one I love is of different make, Molchalin does his best for other people's sake. He's modest, shy, polite -- beyond compare! Oh, what a night we spent behind the doors! Of space and time we were unaware What were we doing there?
Lizzie Well, God knows. It's none of my affair.
Sofia He'd take my hand -- his manners most refined -- And with a gentle sigh he'd press it to his side. My hand in his, he'd feast his eyes on me, I never knew a person as urbane as he. You're laughing? Why? I see no reason To laugh like that. Say, are you teasing?
Lizzie I just recall that gentleman of France That used to live for some time at your aunt's. He left. She tried to hide her grief but failed For she forgot to dye her hair, and it greyed. (continues laughing)
Sofia (regretfully) People will gossip, upon my word!
Lizzie I'm sorry, and I swear to God, I only tried to laugh away your grief, I thought that it might bring you some relief.
Scene 6
Sofia, Lizzie, Servant, followed by Chatsky.
Footman Alexander Andreyevich Chatsky. (Exits)
Scene 7
Sofia, Lizzie, Chatsky.
Chatsky It's hardly morning: here I'm down on my kness. (kisses her hand with passion) You didn't expect me, did you? Give me a kiss. Are you really glad to see me? Look into my eyes! For you it's only a surprise. What a reception! God! It seems like just the other day, It seems like yersterday, We passed the time till we got bored. No sign of love! You look so nice, you do! You'll never know what I went through, I can't get over it. Just think: I covered seven hundred miles at just one bound, Two days and nights I didn't sleep a wink, Just snow and wind, and not a soul around, I'd lose my way and hit the ground, And the result is your reward.
Sofia No, Chatsky, it is nice to see you around.
Chatsky You're glad to see me? Very good! Though I must say, You do not look that way. It seems, I should have spared the horses For the result isn't worth the losses.
Lizzie No, sir, you must not think so For just a little while ago We were talking about you. Ma'me, do confirm, it's is true.
Sofia Well, honestly, I don't deserve reproach, You can't reproach me now or ever For when I see someone approach The house -- a friend, a stranger or whoever, I run to ask him whether he Has seen you, on a coach, go by.
Chatsky That I will not deny. Blessed are the credulous for they are carefree. Good gracious! Am I with you again? In Moscow? You have changed! You're not the same. Gone is the time! Gone are the innocent years! Remember? We would run about pushing chairs, We'd disappear then appear again, Your father and madamme playing a table game, Into a hideaway we would then sneek -- This very corner I suppose it was -- We would be startled by every little creak...
Sofia It's childish.
Chatsky Yes, of course. And now at seventeen you're in the bloom of youth, Inimitable charm -- well, I declare! You know that I'm telling you the truth, That's why you're so modest -- you don't care What people think of you. Now tell me straight: Are you in love? Don't be ebarrassed nor hesitate.
Sofia Your curious look, your questions would embarrass anyone.
Chatsky For heaven's sake! You're the only one That can amaze me. Here in Moscow there is nothing new. There was a party yesterday, tomorrow there'll be two. Someone has managed to get married Another hasn't and is worried. Nothing has changed. Good gracious! The same old poems, the same old conversations.
Sofia Now that you have seen the world It's Moscow you're up to scold. Well, where is a better place?
Chatsky A place where we don't find ourselves. Well, how's your father? Is the old chap Still loyal, heart and soul, to the English Club? How's your uncle? Is his number up? This man... a Turk, a Greek... or something of the kind, The thin-legged one. His name has slipped my mind. You'd see him anywhere at all -- The sitting-room, the kitchen and the hall. How are those three idle gentlemen? Are they in search of marriage bonds again? With heaps of relatives, some day, they hope They'll be related with the whole of Europe. And how's our dearest one? Do you recall his forehead? With «Stage and Masquerade» inscribed on it? He has his house painted green. He's fat while all his actresses are thin. Once during a ball -- remember? -- we discovered A man that, hidden from the crowd, Was making sounds of a nightingale -- A summer bird in winter did so well! There's a relative of yours, a sickly man, In the science board he got an occupation, An enemy of books, he now demands a ban On literacy and education. And all these people I'm fated now to see, I'll soon be sick and tired of living here. Though after travelling East and West We're find the smoke of Homeland best.
Sofia I'd bring my aunt and you together, so That you might count everyone you know.
Chatsky Your auntie, is she still a virgin? Goddess Athene? And still the fraulein of czarina Catherine? She had her house full of dogs and girls to breed. Talking of breeding, why should people need To hire crowds of tutors?And one tries To have them at the lowest price! I mean, with science all is fine, But here in Russia, under the threat of a fine We must aknowledge any creature To be a History or a Science teacher. Do you reember our own mentor? The cap, the gown that he wore? He needed some sign of tuition, He filled our humble minds with awe, And we were open to conviction, From early years we would believe: Without the Germans we couldn't live. And Guilloment, the French, the giddy man, Has he got married?
Sofia He hasn't anyone.
Chatsky Well, he could marry some nice duchess. Pulkheria Andreyevna he matches.
Sofia A ballet dancer? No.
Chatsky Yes, he's grand. One has to have a rank and own some land, Though Guilloment -- oh, by the way, Is there still a tendency today At meetings, public gathering, on stage To mix the Nizhny Novgorod dialect with French?
Sofia A language mixture?
Chatsky Yes, at least of two.
Sofia To mix them into one the way you do?
Chatsky It sounds natural at least. My word! I'm extraodinary pleased To see you. Thus I'm talkative. Taking my chance. For this Molchalin you have time! Where is he? I suppose that I'm No sillier than he. He still keeps A seal of silence on his lips. Or doesn't he? Heused to have a book Where he would write All latest songs that caught his sight. He will get on in life anyway For silent men are highly praised today.
Sofia (aside) You viper! (aloud and with ease) May I ask? Have you by any chance, in sorrow or in joy, Talked favourably of any one of us? Not now. Perhaps, when you were a boy?
Chatsky When all is fragile? Soft and immature? Why go that far? Here is a good deed for you: The jingling of the bell still in my mind, I crossed the snowy desert through the day and night. I hurried here at a neckbreak pace To find you wearing an austeer face. Your coolness, your restraint are tearing me apart, The way you look: The face of a holy praying girl... And yet I love you with all my heart. (a minute of silence) Now listen, don't I treat you well? I never mind a queer man's trick, I have a laugh and then forget it quick. And if it were your desire That I should go into the fire, I'd do it without thinking twice.
Sofia It will be nice If you get burnt, And if you don't?
Scene 8
Sofia, Lizzie, Chatsky, Famusov.
Famusov There's another one!
Sofia A dream of prophecy. (Exits)
Famusov (in a low voice, following her with his eyes) Now, damn the dream!
Scene 9
Famusov, Chatsky (looks at the door through which Sofia left)
Famusov Oh what a trick you've played! You see, For three long years we haven't heard from you, And now you're here, out of the blue. (they embrance) Hallo, my friend, come, take your seat, Let's have a chat a little bit. You must have got a lot to say, Tell us your stories without delay. (both sit down)
Chatsky (abscent-mindedly) Well, Sofia Pavlovna has grown so pretty.
Famusov It is a pity That all you see is a pretty face. She must have dropped a casual phrase Inspiring you with hopes, enchanting you...
Chatsky I rarely nourish hopes. I hardly ever do.
Famusov «A dream of prophecy» the words fell on my ear. You're thinking of...
Chatsky Me? I have no idea.
Famusov What did she dream of? What is it?
Chatsky I don't interpret dreams.
Famusov No! Don't belive her! Not a bit!
Chatsky I do believe my eyes. Upon my word! She is like no one in the world, A beauty from a fairy tale!
Famusov Stop harping on it ! Tell us in detail, Where have you been? You travelled many years. Where are you from?
Chatsky No time for that. I travelled less Than I had planned. (raises quickly) Excuse me, but I hurried here to see you, I haven't been at home, so I must say good-bye. I'll come again in an hour's time, I'm sorry, Though you will be the first to hear my story. (in the doorway) She's charming! (Exits)
Scene 10
Famusov (alone) Which of the two it is, I wonder? «A dream of prophecy» -- she said. She said it openly, I don't know what she meant. It's all my fault. Oh what a blunder! Molchalin made me doubt then. And now I Have fallen out of the pan into the fire. One is a pauper, a dandy is the other; Known as a wasteful man, mischivious and haughty. Oh, what a lot to be the father Of a grown-up daughter! (Exits)
Famusov Petrushka, you have always new clothes on. Look at yourself! Your sleeve is torn. Now, take the calendar and try to make it best. Read it expressively, don't mumble like obsessed! No, wait, just take the pad and write: The next week column. Tuesday night -- A trout party. What a temptation! -- It's Praskovya Fyodorovna's invitation. Why is the world so strange? -- I ask myself the question. And when I do, it makes my mind just reel: A fast is followed by a hearty meal, And then three days of indigestion. Write, on that same day, no, Thursday morning There is a burial ceremony. The human race, they all forget That some day all of them shall get Into the box, so small and tight! The one who'll leave blessed memory behind, A noble chamberlain the late man was, He had the key and let his son have one. He took a wealthy woman, being a wealthy man And married off his children, I suppose, People are mourning now that he has passed away Kuzma Petrovich! May he rest with peace! There are bigwigs in Moscow, I should say! Write down: Thursday, on top of this, Or perhaps on Friday, or on Saturday, I must attend a Christening day. The widow hasn't given birth as yet Though she may, any day, as I expect.
Scene 2
Famusov, Footman, Chatsky.
Famusov Oh, Alexander Andreyevich! Come, sit down!
Chatsky I see you are engaged.
Famusov (to the footman) You go. (The footman exits) It's next week's plan that we're putting down, Something may slip my mind, you know.
Chatsky I see, you do not look quite happy, Is it inopportunely that I arrived? Or maybe something wrong has happened To Sofia Pavlovna? Is she all right ?
Famusov Oh, what a thing to puzzle brains about! I'm sad! Well, do you expect an aged man like me To cry for joy and dance around?
Chatsky Nobody wants you to, you see, I just inquired of you If Sofia Pavlovna was feeling well.
Famusov Pah! Got forgive me! Hell! A thousand times you told me that! Now Sofia Pavlovna is feeling bad, Now she's the prettiest one on earth. Are you in love with her? Oh yes! You want to marry her, you do.
Chatsky It's my affair.
Famusov You have to reckon with me, too. I am related to her, am I not? And note: I'm a father. At least they've always called me so.
Chatsky If I propose to her, will you say no?
Famusov Well, first, I should say this: You don't be reckless. Think of your estate, And what is most impotant: take up service.
Chatsky I'd love to serve. Servility is what I hate.
Famusov That's it! You're all puffed up with pride and aspiration! You'd better ask me what your fathers did And learn from our generation. People like us or late Maxim Petrovich, My uncle, he would drive on a tandem coach, A hundred men on hand, he ate From a gold and from a silver plate. He had awards, lived like a lord, And he attended at the highest court. Those were the days! So much unlike the present! He was in service in Catherine's days. And Everybody felt important then, Your bow and scrape they would disdain. A courtier was even better off, He'd eat and drink what others didn't dream of. My uncle, with his haughty temper, serious look, Compared with him, what is a count or a duke? To please superiors he was happy, He'd creap and crawl like a snake. Once at a reception it so happened That he fell down and nearly broke his neck. The old man groaned in a husky voice Which won him an imperial smile. Now! Everybody laughed. What did he do? He rose And straightened up to make a bow. Then suddenly he flopped. This time with aim, Again a laughter. And a fall again. Well, what do you think of it? I think it'snice. He hurt himself but he was quick to rise. And ever since, like no one else, In the royal house he was a welcome guest. Maxim Petrovich! A man of high esteem! Maxim Petrovich! The life's mischievous pranks! Who fixes pensions and gives people ranks? Maxim Petrovich! Not one of you is a match for him!
Chatsky Exactly! You may sigh compalaining That our society's degrading. But if I look comparing the present With the glorious past, to me it's evident: Fresh is the story, yet it is doubtful to me For glorified and famed was he Who showed the greatest zeal in bending the knee, Who fought and won at peace, not in a war, Hitting his forehead at the floor. And those in need were in the gutter, Those at the top were praised and flattered. It was the age of timidness and fright Under the mask of loyalty to tsarist might. I do not mean your dear uncle, About him I hate to wrangle. But who would want in our days, To sacrify his neck just for the sake Of fun, or just to make The crowd laugh, as in that case? It seems to me, some aged man, On seeing that courageous jump, Must have confessed that, to his shame, He was unable to do the same. Although there're rascals everywhere To be a laughing stock they do not dare. And hence no favor of the sovereigns they expect.
Famusov My Lord! Good heavens! He is a suspect!
Chatsky Today the world is different, really.
Famusov He's dangerous.
Chatsky One can breathe freely. Nobody wants to join the foolish crowd.
Famusov He's talking like a book! What is he talking about?
Chatsky They gather at the patron's house to gape and yawn, To sit in silence, dine and dance a waltz, To show their courtesy, sit up till dawn.
Famusov Now. To preach liberties, that's what he wants.
Chatsky Some travel. Others live in a country-house.
Famusov He doesn't recognize the goverment of ours.
Chatsky Well, he who serves a noble cause...
Famusov For such a gentleman I'd close all doors And keep them miles away from our city.
Chatsky I'll give you rest. Just out of pity...
Famusov I cannot bear it. I'm vexed, impatient.
Chatsky I have abused your generation; I give you my authority: You may cut off part of my commentry Or, if you want, you may apply It to the present time -- I shall not cry.
Famusov I've had enough! For you I'll shut the door, I shall not tolerate all this pervesion any more!
Chatsky I've had my say.
Famusov All right. I have my ears shut.
Chatsky Why should you? I mean no insult.
Famusov (pattering) These idlers! Roam around the world, And on return they order us about.
Chatsky I've finished now...
Famusov Have mersy, my patience's running out.
Chatsky I don't feel like disputing things.
Famusov You might as well repent of sins.
Scene 3
Footman (enters) Colonel Skalozub.
Famusov (hears and sees nothing)
You will be put to trial, mind.
Chatsky Somebody wants to see you. A man of note.
Famusov I don't hear anything. He must be tried!
Chatsky There's a man with a report.
Famusov I am not listening. He must be tried, tried, tried!
Chatsky There's a man behind.
Famusov (he turns round) What's that? A mutiny? I should expext so!
Footman Colonel Skalozub. He's here I mean.
Famusov (stands up) You stupid asses! I told you a hundred times or more! Do let him in! Invite him! Tell him I'm in! Tell him I'm glad to see him. Go! be quick! (The footman exits) He's coming now, sir. No more of you cheek. He's a man of high respect, Has grabbed a heap of orders, I should say, He has a rank, as high as you would not expect, He may be a general any day. So please be modest when he's there. Too bad, Alexander Andreyich, dear. He often comes to see me -- I don't care, You know, I welcome anybody here. In Moscow tongues are wagging. Well, for instance, They say, he wants to marry Sofia. Its nonsense! At heart he may be overjoyed enough, But I do not intend to marry off My daughter now, tomorrow or today, She's too young. Though it's God's will anyway. Don't argue in his presence, please, And leave off joking, don't be a tease. Where is he? I presume, He's waiting there in my room. (hurries away)
Scene 4
Chatsky He's so fussy. Theres so much whim. And Sofia? Can she be engaged to him? They've been avoiding me as if I were a stranger. Oh, how I wish that she were here, my angel. Who is this colonel whom he is so infatuated with? And maybe Famusov is not the only one who is? Oh, he who goes for three long years away A fare well to love is doomed to say.
Scene 5
Chatsky, Famusov, Skalozub.
Famusov Sergey Sergeyich! You're welcome, dear. You must be cold. Come here, get warm, Please join us, it is warmer here; We'll open up the vent. Just make yourself at home.
Skalozub (in a low voice) Don't do it. Let me do it, please. An officer of honour, I'm feeling ill at ease.
Famusov Sergey Sergeyevich, my dear, Let me do something for a friend; Your hat, your sword, just put them here, You may stretch out on this bed.
Skalozub It doesn't matter where I sit. (all sit down, Chatsky at a distance)
Famusov My dear friend, before it slips my mind I'll tell you: we are relatives of a kind. Not close, and no inheritence behind. I didn't know it, nor did you, I learned it from your cousin, dear, Nastasya Nikolaeyevna -- is she related to you, too?
Skalozub I'm sorry, I have no idea, We never served together, for all I know.
Famusov Sergey Sergeyich! You don't say so! Oh no! There's nothing I won't do for relatives, They won't escape me by any means. I have no outsiders working with me, I take on children from my family tree. Exeptions? Well, Molchalin is the only one, He's business-like, that's why I took him on. Now when it comes to offering a vacancy or giving an award. It's natural that for my relatives I should put in a word. Your cousin happened once to mention That he had gained a lot from your protection.
Skalozub In 1813 we cut our teeth, First in the 13th regiment, then in the 45th.
Famusov One should be proud of a son like you. You have an order, haven't you?
Skalozub It's for the August fight. We were in a trench, He got one on a band, I got this for a change.
Famusov He's amiable, smart, as for as I can see. A brilliant man your cousin seems to be.
Skalozub He follows some new rules he has acquired; He was to get promotion but suddenly retired, He took to reading in his country-house and...
Famusov The youth! They read, then all of asudden, bump, the end. You're doing well, you can't be wrong, You're a colonel though you haven't served too long.
Skalozub I'm a lucky man, you see? There's right now a vacancy. Some seniors fall in battle, Others are cast out of saddle.
Famusov Yes, God gives everyone his due.
Skalozub Some people get on better that I do; In the fifteenth division there's a man, The brigadeer general, to mention only one.
Famusov You have got everything, haven't you?
Skalozub I can't complain. Though it's two years, my friend, That I have strived for the regiment.
Famusov There's no occasion for regret For I should say, in some respect Your rivals you have outdone.
Skalozub No, in my corps I'm not the oldest one, I've been in service now for years, I know there are so many ways To be promoted. All I say: I wish I'd be a general some day.
Famusov I share your judgement, and I wish you health, I also wish you generalship, wealth. And then... why should you put it off? -- It's time to think of your better half.
Skalozub To marry? I don't care if I do.
Famusov People have daughters, sisters, nieces, too; There're many marriageable women here. Indeed, they multiply with every passing year. Of all the capitals, big or small, Moscow is surely best of all.
Skalozub A city of tremendous size and space.
Famusov Good manners, elegance and grace; Our life is governed by the laws; We judge the children by the parents, «The father makes the son» -- the saying goes. He may be bad but if he inherits Two thousand hands, then people say: «He makes a perfect fiance.» And if a man is not of noble birth, However smart and full of self-respect, No blessing from the family he should expect. Or take the bread-and-salt reception, I welcome all without expection, My doors are open to all. Yes. Especially to foreign guests. No matter, honest or dishonest, a gentleman or lady, I always keep my dinner ready. Look at the people of our city, They have an imprint of peculiarity. Look at our youngsters, look at these Boys -- our sonnies and grandsonnies, We scold them and we think them green, While they can teach their grannies at fifteen. As for the eldgers their word is law, Once they start talking, they let it go, They always talk with a knowing air, To contradict them you don't dare, They're old gentry, they make no bones About talking on the goverent's wrongs. If someone overheard them, they'd be done for. Not that they put forward new ideas, no! It's mere finding fault. That is the thing! Making a noise about nothing. They carry their arguments too far, Retired chansellors they think they are. I'll tell you what: the time has not yet come, Some day quite indespensible they may become. As for the ladies they are hard to win. Don't try to judge them, They will judge everything. When they come out like one at a table game, Have patience! I have myself been married. Wait: They will command an army on the front, they claim, And will attend the senate to debate. Irina Vlasyevna! Lukerya Alexevna! Tatyana Yuryevna! Pulkheria Andryevna! And if you saw their daughters, you would blush with shame. His majesty the king of Prussia here once came, It wasn't girls and their pretty faces that attracted him, They were well bread and had good manners in his esteem. They can wear a veil and paint the face, They never say a word without a gremace, They sing a French romance Forcing the highest notes, With military men they take a chance Because they say are patriots. Of all the capitals, big or small, Moscow is surely best of all.
Skalozub As far as I can judge, To a large extent the fire made it such.
Famusov Don't talk about the fire. Don't tease. So much has changed ever since: The roads, the houses, the pavements and all . . .
Chatsky The houses are new, the prejudices are old. You should be pleased because a prejudice never dies, It will survive the years, the fashions and the fires.
Famusov (to Chatsky) Ah you! Just keep your mouth shut, Do me a favour, it isn't hard. (to Skalozub) Well, let me introduce to you this gentleman: The son of Chatsky, of the late friend of mine. He doesn't serve, though if he did, he would succeed. It is a pity, I regret, for he is bright. How well can he translate and write! I can't help feeling sorry for this man.
Chatsky Can't you feel sorry for some other one? I am annoyed to hear all your praise.
Famusov Well, anybody would condemn you in my place.
Chatsky I wonder who the judges are! With age they show hostility to freedom, They read the press that dates as far Back as the Crimean war. They call it wisdom. They're quick to criticize and curse And always sing the same old song, They never think they can be wrong. The older these men are the worse. Where are those fathers of the nation, Good models for our generation, The ones that roll in looted money With influential friends and relatives on hand? The ones that feast away their lives of honey And dwell in houses magnificent and grand? The houses in which the foul features of the past Will never be revived by all this foreign caste. The Moscow they will keep your mouth shut By sending you a dinner party invitation card. Or, maybe, It is the man to whom you used to take me For a bow when I was a baby? The leader of otstanding rascals, he Had a team of loyal servants That during fight-and-drinking rounds Had saved his life and honour, but then once He suddenly exchanged them for three hounds. And then there is the man, as good as all the others, He gathered children for his ballet muse By tearing them away from their mothers. He set his mind on Zephirs and Amours And let the whole of Moscow admire their beauty, And when it came to setting his accounts He didn't bother about credits. «Out of sense of duty» All his Amours and Zephirs he sold out. Those are the men that now have grown old and grey, The men enjoying high respect and estimation. «They are indeed our fair judges» -- you will say. And if there is a man among the younger generation That never strives for vacansy nor seeks an occupation Who sets his mind on science and shows a thirst for knowledge Or good himself fills him with inspiration To creativity in art, They scream: «Disaster! Fire!» and acknowledge The man to be a dreamer and dangerous at that. The coat! The coat! They wear it still, So beautifully made, it used to hide Their timidness and their flippant mind. And that's the road that we should take at will. The wives and daughters, too, affect the coat And so did I until a while ago. I'm not an infant now, you know, On things like that I shall no longer dote. When some Guard's officers one day Were on a short time visit here The women shouted: «Hurrah!» And threw their bonnets into the air.
Famusov (to himself) He'll let me down, I'm sure. (aloud) Sergey Sergeyich, I shall go, There in my room for you I'll wait. (Exits)
Scene 6
Chatsky, Skalozub.
Skalozub I really appreciate The way you touched upon The fact that muskovities are fond Of our Guards and Guardsmen, our perfect pets, Their gold embroidery, the cut of coats and shirts. Our First Army has never lagged behind; The waists are narrow. The style is fine, Our officers are spick and span, They can speak French... Some of them can.
Scene 7
Chatsky, Skalozub, Sofia, Lizzie.
Sofia (runs to the window) My God! He's fallen down! He's dead! (faints)
Chatsky Who's that?
Skalozub Who is in trouble?
Chatsky She so scared!
Skalozub Who on earth is it?
Chatsky He's hurt. Is he in good shape?
Skalozub Is it our old boy who's got into a scrape?
Lizzie (trying to help the lady) «No flying from fate» -- the saying goes. As our Molchalin was mounting the horse It reared suddenly as if it were scared, And he fell down bump on his head.
Skalozub Poor rider! Must have pulled the reins too tight. Did he fall down on his breast or on his side? (Exits)
Scene 8
The same people except Skalozub.
Chatsky How can we help her? Tell me, Lizz.
Lizzie There's water over there... (Chatsky runs to fetch water. All speak in alow voice until Sofia regains consciousness) Pour out a glass!
Chatsky Well, there it is, Let loose the lacing, give her air, Now rub the temples with the vinegar, Now sprinkle water. See? It really Helps. She's breathing freely. Have you a fan?
Lizzie Yes, here you are.
Chatsky Look out! Molchalin has come round!
Lizzie It's idleness that torments her. Well, isn't it a pity, sir? She cannot bear to see a man Dash to the ground, like we can.
Chatsky Go on with sprinkling. There!
Sofia (with a deep sigh) Who's speaking? It's like a dream. (speaks fast in a loud voice now) Where is he? What has happened to him?
Chatsky Whatever happened, never mind! He nearly killed you. It serves him right.
Sofia You're killing me with coldness, you! I cannot bear the sight of you!
Chatsky Do you expect me to shed tears?
Sofia Go there and help him, if you please.
Chatsky To leave you on your own here?
Sofia I just don't need you. Do you hear? It's true: about others you are not worried. If your own dad were killed, you wouldn't care. (to Lizzie) Let's go.
Lizzie (taking her a little aside) No, wait. Just don't get flurried. He's safe and sound. Look out there! (Sofia looks out into the window)
Chatsky The way she took it! Fright. Confusion. Faint. One only feels that way, I understand. About the loss of a dearest friend.
Sofia They're coming here. He cannot raise his hand.
Chatsky I wish I had got killed with him.
Sofia Just keep your wishes to yourself, if you have any.
Scene 9
Sofia, Lizzie, Chatsky, Skalozub, Molchalin (with his bad arm bandaged)
Skalozub He's alive again. He got away with a little pain. It was a false alarm, just a mistake.
Molchalin I frightened you. Forgive me for God's sake.
Skalozub I didn't know you would be frightened. As you dashed in we were startled, You fainted suddenly. And now it's clear, There was no reason to feel fear.
Sofia (looking aside) Although I know that all is safe I'm still shaking in my shoes.
Chatsky (to himself) It seems, Molchalin is execused.
Sofia I never fear for myself. Say, when the coach gets overturned I wait until they put it right, Set it in order. And on I ride. I fear for others, for myself I don't. It doesn't care whom I fear for.
Chatsky (to himself) She's making her apology For having pitied somebody.
Skalozub Now let me tell you something about a dame, A certain countesss, Lasova by name. She rides a horse. A widow, she prefers To ride without her admirers. She was so hadly hurt the other day, The jockey must have turned his eyes away. A clumsy woman, now she's lost a rib. So she's looking for a man. In short, She needs a husband for support.
Sofia Andrey Andreyich, take my tip! You're a generous man. When people are in need, You're a friend indeed.
Chatsky I've made my every effort now, and I've Succeded in bringing you back to life. I don't know though Whom I have done it for. (takes his hat and exits)
Scene 10
The same people except Chatsky.
Sofia We have a gathering tonight. Will you join us?
Skalozub What time?
Sofia Come early, there'll be friends, To piano music we shall dance. We're in mourning. So for a ball there's no chance.
Skalozub I'm engaged. Yet I will come tonight. I must be off.
Sofia Good bye.
Skalozub (shaking Molchalin's hands) I'm your man. (Exits)
Scene 11
Sofia, Lizzie, Molchalin.
Sofia Molchalin, I have alost lost my mind. Don't risk your life. Be careful if you can. You know how dear you are to me. Now tell me, please, how is your arm? Shall I give you any kind of remedy? Or call a doctor? It will do no harm.
Molchalin I've dressed it and it doesn't ache.
Lizzie I bet, it's nousense, just a fake; For dressing there isn't any need, And you will not avoid publicity For Chatsky will make fun of it, And Skalozub will spread it through the city. He'll tell his story carrying it too far, He's fond of making jokes. All people are.
Sofia Which of the two I care for? It's up to me -- I can say «yes» or «no». Molchalin, I restrained my feeling, When I came in my mind was reeling, I couldn't breathe when they were there, To look at you I didn't dare.
Molchalin No, Sofia Pavlovna, you're too blunt.
Sofia I wish I could be restraint, I can't. I nearly jumped out of the window then, And I don't care about any one of them, Let people grin or scold me if they want.
Molchalin Well, if you hold you tongue, they won't.
Sofia Will you be challenged to a duel? I hope not.
Molchalin The vicious tongues, they are more frightful than a pistol shot.
Lizzie They're sitting there, I presume. You'd better rush into the room With a cheerful look, a happy face, Tell them the words they want to hear, They will believe words of praise. As to Alexander Andreyich he Will be just happy to converse With you about the bygone years. Just give a smile and he will do Anything under the sun for you.
Molchalin I don't advise you anything. (kisses her hand)
Sofia I'll do it against my will. Although I cannot feign pretence, I think. What did God bring this Chatsky here for? (Exits)
Scene 12
Lizzie, Molchalin.
Molchalin You're such a happy creature, you!
Lizzie Leave me alone. Without me you're two.
Molchalin You're such a beauty! I love you so!
Lizzie And Sofia, too?
Molchalin I love her out of duty, I love you... (wants to embrance her)
Lizzie Out of boredom. Be off with you!
Molchalin I have three things for you: here is A toilet set, it's got two mirrors, One outside and one inside. Nice work. There's carving, gilt. Just have a look. This little thing with a beads ornament. Not bad. Nice little sissors an a needle pad. There's pomade, and here is another set: Two bottles of perfume: jassmine and mignonette.
Lizzie You know in things I take no interest. You'd better tell me why You're so dissolute with me while with the mistress You're always modest, shy?
Molchalin I'm not well. My arm is dressed, you see? At dinner time, when we're two, I shall confine the truth to you. (Exits through the side door)
Scene 13
Lizzie, Sofia.
Sofia There's no one in the father's room. Too bad! I'll miss the dinner. I'm not well today. Go to Molchalin, tell him that I want to see him right away. (Exits to her room.)
Scene 14
Lizzie.
Lizzie So strange these people seem to be! She craves for him, he craves for me, And I'm... the only one who's scared of love, Barman Petrusha, my sweetest dove.
Chatsky I'll wait till she confides to me. Whom does she care for? Molchalin! Skalozub! Who is it? Molchalin used to be so stupid, A miserable creature, it was plain to see. He hasn't grown any wiser. And the other one Is rough and hoarse, a husky man. A constellaton of mazurkas and manouvres. Love Is doomed to play the blind man's bluff. And I... (Enter Sofia) Oh, are you here? I'm very glad. I wished it so.
Sofia (to herself) It is too bad.
Chatsky It isn't me you were looking for, is it?
Sofia I didn't look for you.
Chatsky Maybe, it isn't fit That I should ask you. Tell me, be so kind, Whom do you love?
Sofia Good heavens! All mankind.
Chatsky And whom do you prefer?
Sofia Well, there are relatives...
Chatsky You love me most of all!
Sofia Some of them, that is.
Chatsky What do I hope for, when all is done? I'm prepared to kill myself while she's having fun.
Sofia Shall I be frank with you? It's not polite to laugh at everyone. You always have a ready tongue When people don't behave the way you do. And you...
Chatsky I'm a funny man, you mean to say?
Sofia You're menacing. You look and talk that way. You have a lot of other negatives like that, Self criticism wouldn't do you bad.
Chatsky I'm queer! All men are queer as rule. He isn't queer who's like a fool. Molchalin, for example...
Sofia Well, it isn't new to me; You make no bones about pouring out your acidity. I hate to bother you. I'll leave.
Chatsky (holding her back) Don't go. (Aside) For once I'll make believe. (aloud) Let's drop it. Arguments aside! I'm sorry for Molchalin for I wasn't right; He may be different from what he used to be, Such changes do occur, I will agree, Changes in minds and morals, governments and rules, There are important people that were known to be fools, I'm afraid to mention them but you'll agree: Some weren't successful in the army, some in poetry And others -- everybody says -- Have grown much too clever in recent years. Molchalin may be bright and bold, it's true, But has he got emotions, passions To think the world without you To be just vanity and ashes? And is he sensitive enough To have his heart-beat speeded up by love? So that whatever he might think and do Would be entirely for you? That's what I feel, but words just fail me. I'm overwhelwed, I'm in despair, It's such a feeling that I couldn't wish an enemy. And he? Just hangs his head and doesn't seem to care, He's timid. All such men are quiet, He has a mistery of some kind. Good knows what is it you've inspired In him. Something he never had in mind. Of all the merits, quite a few He has inherited from you. It isn't he who's sinful, it is you. No, no, he may be wise and clever, too. Is he a match for you? -- that is the question. As someone you grew up together with A friend of yours, your nearest relation, I want you to dispell my doubts, please, So that I take the loss with ease. I shall take care not to lose my mind, I'll go away to fall in reverie And never think of love. Yet I shall find A way to having fun and making merry.
Sofia (to herself) To drive him mad I really did not intend. (aloud ) Why on earth should I pretend? Molchalin could have lost his hand. I helped him, you should understand, You were there and you saw it too, And it did not occur to you, It was the gesture of a friend. Though, maybe, you're right to some extent, For him I may be biased, Now tell me really, Why should you talk so freely Of your contempt for people, and never make disguise? You don't show mercey even to the humblest one. You're always at it. Always joking, always having fun. No matter who is mentioned during table-talks Down on his head you hail your biting jokes.
Chatsky My goodness! Am I really the kind of man Whose only ai Meeting with funny people is adoring Though for the most part I find them boring.
Sofia No, it does not apply to him. Molchalin wouldn't really seem To you so boring, if you knew him well.
Chatsky (with passion) Why did you get to know him well?
Sofia I never tried. It was the wish of God. Just look how many friends he's got. He's been in service for three years, When father loses temper for no reason Molchalin never takes offence. He's kind and trys to do thepleasing. And incindentally, He could make merry if he wanted to. Alas, he only does what the old people here do, He sits playingwith them all day long.
Chatsky Playing all day! He doesn't contradict when they're wrong! (Aside) No, she does not respect him, I should say.
Sofia One can be prompt and smart but deathly boring, Another's always swearing and scolding Just to attract attention, grow the gossip seeds. Is that the kind of wit a family needs?
Chatsky Is moral and satire the meaning of this all? (aside) She doesn't care for him at all!
Sofia With every virtue his character is graced. He's modest and complient, though not smart. He has no signs of worry on his face And doesn't suffer wrong at heart. He isn't finding fault with all and everything, That's why I love him so.
Chatsky (aside) She doesn't love him. It can be seen. (aloud) And I can tell you more To help you finish up Molchalin's portrait. And Skalozub? Ah, what a treat! He loves the army so! His posture and his manners and the way He looks and talks make him a hero.
Sofia Not of my novel anyway.
Chatsky Not of you novel? It's hard to find you out.
Scene 2
Chatsky, Sofia, Lizzie.
Lizzie (in a whisper) Alexander Stepanych is about To come in. He's here to see you.
Sofia I'm sorry, I must take to flight.
Chatsky Where to?
Sofia The hair dresser. While the curling irons are hot.
Chatsky So what?
Sofia We are expecting visitors tonight.
Chatsky All right. My riddle will remain Unsolved again. Now let me sneek into your room where... Everything is wonderful the walls, the air, The memories of bygone years will do me best, They'll buck me up and give me rest. I shan't stay long there, a minute, maybe two, And then, just think, in the English Club I shall spend days just listening to The gossip about Molchalin, Skalozub...
(Sofia shrugs her shoulders, exits and locks the door. Lizzie follows her.)
Scene 3
Chatsky, Molchalin.
Chatsky Has Sofia really chosen him? She might. He can be quite a husband though he isn't bright One doesn't need to be so brilliant To have a family and children. He is polite, obliging, has a good complexion... (Enter Molchalin) Now there he comes on tiptoe silently. How did he manage to win Sofia's affectation? (addressing to him) Well, Alexey Stepanych, you and me Didn't have time to have a chat. How are you? Not too bad? No cares? No troubles now?
Molchalin Just like before.
Chatsky I'm asking «how?»
Molchalin Day in, day out -- all the same.
Chatsky From playing cards to writing then to cards again? Then waiting for the turns of tides?
Molchalin I do my best, without big words, Since I've been working in the Archives I have received three high awards.
Chatsky You're a man of honour and importance?
Molchalin No, everybody has his own gift...
Chatsky You, too?
Molchalin Yes, I have two: Painstakingness and confidence.
Chatsky Two finest gifts. They equal all our gifts combined.
Molchalin Have you not been successful? Haven't you ranks of any kind?
Chatsky The ranks are given by human beings, -- They make mistakes. I have misgivings.
Molchalin We were so surprised!
Chatsky Why should you?
Molchalin We were sorry for you.
Chatsky You didn't need to.
Molchalin Tatyana Yuryevna once mentioned On her return from Petersburg That you had some kind of relation With ministers. It didn't work...
Chatsky It's none of her affair.
Molchalin Tatyana Yuryevna!
Chatsky We're not aquainted, I don't care.
Molchalin Tatyana Yuryevna!
Chatsky That woman I have never seen I hear she is silly.
Molchalin Come on! Is that the one I mean? Tatyana Yuryevna's well known! High rank officials, chiefs, They are all her friends and relatives, You'd better go and see her one fine day.
Chatsky What do I need it for?
Molchalin You see you may... Get unexpected backing and protection.
Chatsky Sometimes I visit women but not with that intention.
Molchalin She's so well-mannered, pretty, unpretentious, She gives most splendid balls on all occasions, From Christmas to the Easter holidays, and then She has festivities in her country-house again. Why shouln't you stay in Moscow, really? You'd get awards and live quite merrily.
Chatsky When I'm busy I mean business as a rule, And when it's time to play I play the fool, And I do not belong to those Who're capable of doing both.
Molchalin It's not a crime, as far as I can see, There's Foma Fomich. You know the man?
Chatsky So what?
Molchalin Under three ministers he was the head of a board, He's been transferred down here...
Chatsky Oh dear! A stupid man. One of the stilliest men I know.
Molchalin You don't say so! He's the model of eloquence! Have you read his books?
Chatsky I don't read nonsense. And model nonsense all the more so.
Molchalin No, really. I've read his books and I enjoyed them, too. I'm no writer...
Chatsky No, it's plain to see.
Molchalin I'm not brave enough to form my own point of view.
Chatsky Why are you holding back, tell me.
Molchalin I am just a young man and... I mustn't have my own judgement.
Chatsky We are no children. Why, should we... Respect other men's views only.
Molchalin We must depend on others, you and I.
Chatsky Why should we?
Molchalin We are low rank people, that is why.
Chatsky (almost aloud) She loves a man with such a heart! The lier! How could she mock at me like that?
Scene 4
Evening. All doors are wide open except the door leading to Sofia's room. In the background some doors are being opened. The footmen are bustling about. One of them, the head footman, says:
Hey, Filka, Fomka, hurry up, you folk! Bring tables, brushes, candles, chalk! (Knocks at Sofia's door) Elisabeth, please tell the mistress: Natalia Dmitrevna, her husband, is at the porch. Now there is another coach.
(All break up. Chatsky is left alone...)
Scene 5
Chatsky, Natalia Dmitriyevna, a young lady
Natalia Dmitriyevna If I'm not mistaken, this is... Alexandr Andreyich, is it really you? Oh yes!
Chatsky You're staring at me in such a way. Can I have changed so much in these three years?
Natalia Dmitriyevna I thought you were far away. When did you come?
Chatsky Today.
Natalia Dmitriyevna For long?
Chatsky I don't know, I shall see. I say, you have changed surprisingly. You've put on weight. You're such a lovely creature! You look so fresh and young to-day! There's a fire, colour, joy in every feature.
Natalia Dmitriyevna I'm married.
Chatsky You should have said it right away.
Natalia Dmitriyevna My husband is a gorgeous man. He's coming in. I'll introduce him to you, if you want.
Chatsky I do.
Natalia Dmitriyevna There's something you will like about him, Just look and judge, I don't know what.
Chatsky I do believe you. He's your husband, you are tied.
Natalia Dmitriyevna No, he's a good man in his own right. Platon Mikhaylich is so precious! He's my only one. He is retired. He used to be a military man. And everybody says, all those who knew him then, He's one of the most courageous, gifted men, And had he not resigned He would become the Moscow commandant.
Scene 6
Chatsky, Natalia Dmitiyevna, Platon Mikhailovich
Natalia Dmitriyevna Meet Platon Mikhailovich.
Chatsky My stars! A good old friend of mine! Oh what a chance!
Platon Mihkaylovich Hello, my brother Chatsky!
Chatsky Platon, my dear, Congratulations on your good behaviour.
Platon Mihkaylovich Now, as you see, my friend, I've ended up in Moscow in the end.
Chatsky Have you forgotten brothers, friends, the camping ballihoo?
Platon Mihkaylovich Not really, I have some things to do, I play a duet on my flute, I love it so. It's in «la» flat.
Chatsky The same old tune you played five years ago? You don't change tastes. It is a good merit.
Platon Mihkaylovich You will remember me when you get married, Out of idleness you'll play the same old melody.
Chatsky Do you give way to idleness, my dear?
Natalia Dmitriyevna My husband does a lot Of what they don't do nowadays: Horse-riding, training... sometimes he's bored.
Chatsky Who told you, dear fellow, you should you laze? Go join a regiment. You'll get a squadron, sir. Are you a junior or a field officer?
Natalia Dmitriyevna Well, you see, Platon Mikhailovich is not healthy.
Chatsky Do you mean he's fallen ill? May I know when?
Natalia Dmitriyevna He has a headache and a backache now and then.
Chatsky Go to the country. Do more exercise, In summer the country-side is a paradise.
Natalia Dmitriyevna Platon Mikhailovich prefers The city to a god forsaken place.
Chatsky The city. Moscow... You're strange. Do you recall the past?
Platon Mihkaylovich Yes, but things have changed.
Natalia Dmitriyevna My dear, It's cool in here, You had best Button your clothes, your suit, your vest.
Platon Mihkaylovich I'm not the man I used to be...
Natalia Dmitriyevna Look here, Darling, you must get buttoned anyway.
Platon Mihkaylovich (speaking calmly) Yes.
Natalia Dmitriyevna Get out of the doorway, There's a draught there coming from behind.
Platon Mihkaylovich I'm not the man I used to be...
Natalia Dmitriyevna Darling, be so kind, Get out of the doorway. Don't stand near.
Platon Mihkaylovich (rolling up his eyes) Oh, woman!
Chatsky Well, may God judge you, dear. You're right, you're different from what you were. It wasn't long ago. Wasn't it last year? We were in the regiment. Just at the break of day You would get on the horse to ride away, You'd ride around exposed to the autum wind...
Platon Mihkaylovich Yes, brother. Those were the days, indeed!
Scene 7
The same people, Count Tugouhovsky and the countess with their six daughters.
Natalia Dmitriyevna (in a high voice) Count Pyotr Ilyich! Countess! Good heavens! Countess Zizzie, Mimmie! (Loud kissing.Then everybody sits down taking an all round view of one another)
1st countess Oh, what a vogue!
2nd countess The folds, the pleats!
1st countess The fringes! Everything matches!
Natalia Dmitriyevna No, have a look at my charming satin cloak!
3rd countess Look at my scarf, my brother cousin's present!
4th countess Oh yes!
5th countess It's lovely, isn't it?
6th countess It's a woolen one.
Countess Hush. Who's that gentleman? He's so pleasant...
Natalia Dmitriyevna A stranger. Chatsky.
Countess A r-retired man?
Natalia Dmitriyevna Yes, he's been travelling. He's just back home, you see...
Countess And he is not mar-r-ried yet, is he?
Natalia Dmitriyevna He isn't.
Countess Count, come here, be quick!
Count (turns his ear-trumpet to her and groans) Ohkm!
Countess I ask you to invite Natalia Dmitriyevna's aquaintance to our party, Tuesday night.
Count Ahkm! (goes up to Chatsky, hangs around him and caughs from time to time)
Countess With children that's the way it is: They want a ball while father looks for ways Of finding dancers. They are rare nowadays. Has he a noble r-rank?
Natalia Dmitriyevna Well, no.
Countess Is he well off?
Natalia Dmitriyevna Well, no.
Countess (in a loud voice) Eh, count, come back! I call it off!
Scene 8
The same people and countess Khrumins, the grannie and her granddaughter.
Countess, the Granddaughter Oh grandmaman! We've come too early, I think. We are the first to come.
Natalia Dmitriyevna She's abusing us! She' the first to come! She thinks that we are nothing! She's angry. Not yet married. May God forgive the lass.
Countess, the Granddaughter (on returning she turns her lorgnette to Chatsky) So you're back, Messeur Chatsky! How are you? As you were?
Chatsky Why should I change?
Countess, the Granddaughter Did you get married there?
Chatsky Whom should I marry?
Countess, the Granddaughter If you have hopes... Our people marry there with no procrastination, They let us enter family relations With needle-women from nice fashions shops.
Chatsky Poor creatures! Do they have to bear Reproaches from the girls that immitate modistes Because they dare to prefer To see them live than just their lists?
Scene 9
The same people and many other guests. Among them Zagoretsky. Men come in, take a bow and walk aside, they walk about the rooms. Sofia comes out of her room. Everybody goes up to meet her.
Countess, the Granddaughter Eh! bon soir! vous voila! Jamais trop diligente, Vous nous donner toujours le plaisir de l'attente.
Zagoretsky (to Sofia) Have you a ticket for tomorrow's show?
Sofia No.
Zagoretsky Then let me give you this. It would have been quite useless If someone else had tried To please you, for I searched and I inquired About it everywhere. I should say There wasn't any to be had since yesterday. Nobody had one at the office. I asked The manager, afriend of mine, -- alas! This morning I was quite a bother I turned to one, then to another, Then, finally, I got this one, of course. I took it from an old sick man by force, He's a friend of mine, on plays he isn't keen, So let him sit at home for once.
Sofia I'm greatful to you. And my special thanks For all the trouble you have taken. (More people come. Meanwhile Zagoretsky goes up to the men).
Zagoretsky Platon Mihkaylich...
Platon Mihkaylovich Get out of here! Go to the women. Tell them lies and sneer, I'll tell the truth about you, if you please. It's worse than lies. (to Chatsky) Well, here he is! What do they call such people, may I ask you? What is the milder word? He's a man of fame, An outrageous swindler and a rascal, Anton Antonych Zagoretsky is his name. Beware of him, he's indescreet, And don't play cards with him -- he'll cheat.
Zagoretsky He never bears malice though he's pert.
Chatsky It would be funny, if you felt hurt. Apart from honesty there are so many consolations: They scold you here, and there you get congratulations.
Platon Mihkaylovich No, brother, they will scold you here and there, And they will welcome you just everywhere. (Zagoretsky disappears in the croud.)
Scene 10
The same people and Khlyostova.
Khlyostova It's not a joke for me at sixty five, my dear, To get to you, it's such long and tiresome way! I drove an hour from Pokrovka over here, I'm exhausted, and the night is just a doomsday. I took this blackamoor girl with me And the little dog -- to keep me company. Let someone feed them alms from the supper tray. Good evening, countess. (sits down) Well, Sofia, my love, You want to see the kind of blackamoor I have? The kind of creatures God creates! The curly hair. The hunch of shoulder blades. She's angry, has the habits of a cat. She's as black as pitch. She looks so bad! I'll send for her, if you allow, She's there in the girl's room.
Sofia No, not now.
Khlyostova Imagine, they're exposed like animals for show... I hear... there's a city somewhere in Turkey... Who got the girl for me? Do you want to know? Anton Antonich Zagoretsky. (Zagoretsky steps forward) He's a lier, gambler, thief, a man of no esteem! (Zagoretsky disappears) I keep my doors locked up for him. He's good at doing a service: sister Praskovya and I, Two blackamoor children we have each received. He says he bought them at the market. It's a lie. God bless him anyway! I've got a gift.
Chatsky (to Platon Mihkailovich, roaring with laughter) One has to pay for such a praise, And Zagoretsky's run away, to save his face.
Khlyostova Who's the cheerful man? Is he respectable enough?
Sofia This here one? It's Chatsky.
Khlyostova Well, what makes him laugh? What is he glad about? What does he mean? Laughing at aged people is a sin. You used to dance with him when you were small, I'd pull his ears but it didn't help at all.
Scene 11
The same people and Famusov.
Famusov (in a loud voice) We're waiting now for count Pyotr Ilyich. Oh here he is! I was there in the rear, Where is Skalozub Sergey Sergeyevich? He's a conspicuons man. No, he is not here. Sergey Sergeyich Skalozub!
Khlyostova Good heavens! You're rumbling louder than a tube.
Scene 12
The same people and Skalozub, then Molchalin enters.
Famusov Sergey Sergeyich, you're late, You made us wait and wait and wait. (leads him to Khlyostova) This is my sweetheart, do you know? I told her about you long ago.
Khlyostova You were here... in the regyment of... grenadiers?
Skalozub (in a loud voice) You mean Novozemlyansk, the regiment of musketeers? It was her majesty's subunit -- quite another story.
Khlyostova I don't distingish regiments, I'm sorry.
Skalozub There is a difference in full-dress coats, The shoulder loops, the tabs and shirts.
Famusov Now come along, count , I shall make you laugh: We're playing whist. It's curious enough. (leads Skalozub and the count away with him)
Khlyostova (to Sofia) It's like a noose off neck indeed. Your father is so silly. What does he need This burly fellow for? He didn't even ask To introduce this man to us.
Molchalin (giving her a card) Your party will be monsieur Kock, Foma Fomich and I.
Khlyostova Thank you, old bloke. (raises)
Molchalin Your spits is lovely. Small and sleek. I patted him. He is as smooth as silk.
Khlyostova Thank you, my dear. (goes out followed by Molchalin and many others)
Scene 13
Chatsky, Sofia and some strangers, who gradually disperse.
Chatsky Well, he has cleared the atmosphere...
Sofia Please don't go on.
Chatsky What makes you fear? I meant to praise him for he had commended The angry guest.
Sofia With bitter words you would have ended.
Chatsky I'll tell you what I thought about: These aged women tend to get quite hot, They always need someone around To serve them as a lightening-rod. Molchalin, he's the kind of man That can appease disputes like no one can! He'll pat a dog, he'll show his greatest skill In playing cards! He's another Zagoretsky! You told me all his merits then, You must have failed to mention some of them. (Exits)
Scene 14
Sofia, then Mr. N.
Sofia (to herself) This man, he always puts me out, He's angry, envious and proud, He is the humiliating kind!
Mr. N. (coming up to her) I see, you are lost in thought.
Sofia It's Chatsky.
Mr. N. Has he changed? Or what?
Sofia He is insane.
Mr. N. Oh! Has he lost his mind?
Sofia Not quite...
Mr. N. But are there any indications?
Sofia (stares at him) I think so.
Mr. N. Oh at his age? How come? Good gracious!
Sofia Well, nothing can be done. (Aside) He does belive it ! Ah, Chatsky! You are fond of making fun, There's a cap and bells for you, young man! Take it or leave it. (Exits)
Scene 15
Mr N then Mr D
Mr N. He's mad!... That's what she thinks!... My eys! There must be reasons... It can't be otherwise. You heard the news?
Mr D. What news?
Mr N. About Chatsky.
Mr D. No.
Mr N. He's off his head!
Mr D. I don't think so.
Mr N. I'm telling you what others say.
Mr D. And now you are getting out of your way To spread the news, my dear.
Mr N. I'll go and ask if someone knows it here. (Exits)
Scene 16
Mr D. then Zagoretsky.
Mr D. Belive the tattler! He'll repeat Just any nonsens coming to his ear. You know about Chatsky?
Zagoretsky What is it?
Mr D. He's mad!
Zagoretsky Oh yes, I know, I heard. I do recall how it occured. His roguish uncle said he was insane; He got him caught and send him to a mental home in chain.
Mr D. Why, he was here just now, here in this room.
Zagoretsky They have unchained him, I presume.
Mr D. We don't need newspapers with you around. I'll go and see what people talk about. I shall ask everyone. But it's a secret. See?
Scene 17
Zagoretsky, then countess, the granddaughter.
Zagoretsky Who's Chatsky here? The name's familiar to me. I used to know a Chatsky once. Have you ever heard of him by any chance?
Countess, the Granddaughter Of whom?
Zagoretsky Of Chatsky, he was here in the room.
Countess, the granddaughter I know, we had a chat.
Zagoretsky Congratulation! He is mad.
Countess, the granddaughter What?
Zagoretsky Yes, he's mad.
Countess, the granddaughter Imagine, I myself have noticed that; I bet we said it with one voice.
Scene 18
The same people and countess, the grandmother.
Countess, the granddaughter Oh grand'maman, it's great! I just rejoice! You heard about the trouble, didn't you? I say! Isn't it lovely! It's really something new!
Countess, the grandmother (Speaking with a strong French accent) Will you speak louder, my friend, I cannot hear? I have my ears stuffed...
Countess, the granddaughter No time, my dear! (points to Zagoretsky) Il vous dira toute l'histoire... I'll ask... (exits)
Scene 19
Zagoretsky, Countess, the grandmother.
Countess, the grandmother What's that? Is there a fire?
Zagoretsky For all this turmoil Chatsky is the reason.
Countess, the grandmother Did you say Chatsky? Who has put the man to prison?
Zagoretsky He had his forehead wounded, and he lost his head.
Countess, the grandmother He's a freemason, unfaithful, is that what you said?
Zagoretsky No use to talk to her. (Exits)
Countess, the grandmother Anton Antonych, dear! Now there he comes. He's hurrying. He's in fear.
Scene 20
Countess, the grandmother and Count Tugoukhovsky.
Countess, the grandmother Count, count! This count attends All balls, though he can hardly breethe. You, count, did you hear me?
Count Ah-hm?
Countess, the grandmother He's hard to talk with, At least you saw the policeman nearby?
Count Eh-hm?
Countess, the grandmother Who was this Chatsky imprisoned by?
Count Weh-hm?
Countess, the grandmother Give him a hoversack! Let him go soldiering! He breaks the law! Isn't he daring?
Count Uh-hm?
Countess, the grandmother Yes! He is an outrageous alien! That's was he is! A downright Voltarian! What? What? He's deaf. Take out the hearing trumpet, Poor hearing is bad. Talking is hampered.
Scene 21
The same people and Khlyostova, Sofia, Molchalin, Platon Mikhailovitch, Natalia Dmitriyevna, countess, the granddaughter, Zagoretsky, Skalozub, then Famusov and many others.
Khlyostova He's off his head! I beg to state it. It is so sudden! So unexpected! Did you hear it, Sofia?
Platon Mikhailovitch Who made it known? You?
Natalya Dmitriyevna Oh, dear, everybody.
Platon Mikhailovitch Then you don't doubt. As for me, I do.
Famusov (coming in) Whom are you talking about? Chatsky? Why doubt? It's true! I was the first to have discovered it, I wonder why he isn't bound to bed. He has the nerve to abuse the goverment. If you should bow bending your body To our sovereign or anybody, You will be called a rascal and a toady.
Khlyostova He is always making fun of us. He burst out laughing when I mentioned gifts.
Molchalin He talked me out of working in the Archives.
Countess, the granddaughter And as for me I was compared with modistes.
Natalya Dmitriyevna He told my husband he should settle in the country-house.
Zagoretsky All things considered he is mad.
Countess, the granddaughter I judge it from his eyes.
Famusov He takes after his mother. No surprise! She's known to have lost mind a half a dozen times.
Khlyostova Strange things can happen in this world, A man his age should turn insane! He must have drunk from young.
Countess It's true!..
Countess, the granddaughter No doubt. Upon my word!
Khlyostova He would drink glasses of champaigne!
Natalya Dmitriyevna He drank it by the bottle!
Zagoretsky (with passion) No! It's by the barrel for all I know.
Famusov Well, drinking isn't bad as such, A man may drink atd It's education that's to blaim That many people go insane. There are so many mental cases, views, ideas, really!
Khlyostova These boarding schools, lyceums and all that, As well this Lancaster teaching theory, They all can easily drive you mad.
Countess There is an Institute in Petersburg, I have been told, The Institute of Pe-da-go-gics, I think it's called. What the professors do there they propagate Dissent and unebelief. A relative of mine, He studied there. He's a graduate, And any time can be employed In a farmacy or somewhere in the line. A chemist, botanist, he's trying to avoid The fair sex. He doesn't care Much for promotion or career, He's my nephew, my dear and near.
Skalozub I have good news: there is an education plan, I hear, For boarding schools, lyceums and gymnasiums, They'll teach there simply, like they do it here. They will use books on some occasions.
Famusov Sergey Sergeyich! No! To nip it in the bud I'd take all books and burn them up like that!
Zagoretsky (speaking humbly) No, there are books and books. You know, If I were engaged in censorship, I'd deal with fables: Oh! I Love them so! The mockery of lions, eagles, sheep, No matter what one thinks, They're animals, and yet their kings.
Khlyostova It doesn't matter if it's books or drinking That caused his lunacy. And I'm thinking With sympathy of Chatsky, I should say, He really deserves it, in a Christian way. He had three hundred souls, and he was bright.
Famusov Four hundred.
Khlyostova Three, sir.
Famusov Four.
Khlyostova No! Three.
Famusov My calendar...
Khlyostova The calendars are never right.
Famusov Four hudred men! Stop arguing with me!
Khlyostova No, three! I know other people property!
Famusov Four hundred, do you understand me?
Khlyostova No, three hundred! Three, three, three.
Scene 22
The same people and Chatsky.
Natalia Dmitriyevna Now there he is!
Countess, the granddaughter Hush!
Everybody Hush! (Stepping back from him.)
Khlyostova He'll make a fuss! He'll want to have it out with us
Famusov Good Lord! Forgive our trespass! (With caution.) You're not yourself, my dear. Let me feel your pulse, You need a sleep after the journey; you're ill.
Chatsky That's right. I cannot bear the pains I feel. I'm suffering a millon torments From friendly squeezes, shuffles, exclamations, comments, (comes up to Sofia) My heart is overwhelmed with grief, I feel out of place,I'm lonely here. No, Moscow doesn't give relief.
Khlyostova He's blaiming Moscow, do you hear?
Famusov We'd better keep away from him. (makes signs to Sofia) Hm, Sofia has shut her ears.
Sofia (to Chatsky) What makes you angry, tell us, please?
Chatsky There in that room they have an incidental meeting: The little Frenchan from Bordeau, puffed up with pride Was telling them: he had a fright To go to the Barbarian Russia. So he came and found There was caressing all around. With not a single Russian face, The language spoken was Francaise. It looked as though he were in France Among his friends, in his province, And if you saw him, he would appear To you as if he were a petty monarch here, With clinging ladies, always looking smart, He's happy here, while we arn't. There came a storm of exaltation With screames and moans and violent elation. «Oh France! The land beyond compare!» -- Two sister countess came out to declare -- The lesson they had learnt in their green years. There is no arguing with countess. I said I wanted everyone to hear it, I wished that God could crush the evil spirit Of meaningless blind slavish immitation And fill someone with inspiration, The one that would be able to Deter us with a solid hand From miserable longing for a foreign land. I may be called An old-believer, yet I think Our North is worse a hundrefold Since I adopted the new mode, Having abandoned everything: Our customs and our conditions, The language, moral values and traditions, And, in exchange of the grand gown, Regadless of all trends And common sense, We put on this apparel of a clown: A tail, a funny cut -- oh, what a scene! It's tight and doesn't match the face; This funny, gray-hairedshaven chin! «Which covers thee discovers thee!» -- there's a phrase. If we adopt traditions from abroad with ease We'd better learn a little from Chinese, Their ignorance of foreign lands. Shall we awaken from the power of ailien fashions So that our wise and cheerful Russians Might never think us to be Germans? «Can European culture be compared With our culture?» -- I once heard. «How can the words such as "madamme", "mademoiselle" Be turned to Russian? Is it "girl"?» No sooner than I said it, fancy, They burst out laughing. They laughed at me. «Ha! Girl! Ha-ha, isn't it wonderful! Ha -- Girl! Ha-ha, isn't it aweful!» I got so angry and I cursed, I was about to retort, But they broke up, dispersed. I'll tell you what: Both here in Moscow and in Petersburg, you know, A man that hates pretence and all that's done for show And is unfortunate to have in mind A few ideas of some kind And wants to openly speak out! Look out.. (Looks around, everybody is dancing a waltz. The older people make their ways to card tables)
Central hall in Famusov's house; a big stair leading from the first floor and a number of accessory stairs adjoining it from the mezzaniness; downstairs on the right (to the people in the play) is the exit to the porch and to the porter's lodge; to the left is Molchalin's room. Night. A faint light. Some footmen are buslting, others sleep in expectation of their masters.
Scene 1
Countess, the grandmother, countess, the granddaughter lead by their footman.
Footman The coach of Khryumina!
Countess, the granddaughter (while beeing wrapped up) Oh, what a ball! This Famusov! The kind of guests he called! Some ugly creatures from the other world! No one to talk to or to dance with. Not a soul!
Countess, the grandmother I'm tired, darling, let's get under way. I'll go to grass straight from the ball some day. (Both exit the house)
Scene 2
Platon Mikhailovich and Natalia Dmitriyevna. One footman is bustling around, another shouts from the porch:
The coach of Gorich!
Natalia Dmitriyevna Oh my life, my soul, My precious one, oh, why are you so sad? (kisses her husband on the forehead) You had some fun at Famusov's, I'm sure you had!
Platon Mikhailovitch I don't like parties but I'm all yours, And I obey you just because I want to please you, I just sit Keeping my vigils. On hearing commands, However sad, I go to dance.
Natalia Dmitriyevna You make pretence, you're not good at it; You want to be reputed to be old Unable to activity. (Exits accompanied by the footman)
Platon Mikhailovitch (speaking coldly) There's nothing bad about a ball, It pains to be in captivity; Nobody forces us to marry! For some it is a predetermined thing...
The footman The mistress! She's waiting in the coach. She's angry.
Platon Mikhailovitch (with a sigh) All right, all right, I'm coming. (Exits)
Scene 3
Chatsky and the Footman accompaying him.
Chatsky Tell them to bring the coach immediately. (The footman exits) The day has passed and with the day The hazes and illusions are away; The haze of hope that filled my soul up until recently. What did I hope to find here after a long absence? Where is the beauty of encounters and people's sympathy, Those cheers, greetings, huggings -- nonsense! When you are ridding on a coach you see Vast, boudless plain before you. Everything's lively, light and blue, And there is always something new, You drive an hour, two, a day and then You reach a stopping place for rest, you look around And see the same deserted plain. It makes me sad to think about it. (The footman comes back) Ready?
The footman Well, the coachman is out of sight.
Chatsky You go and look for him, we cannot stay here for night. (The footman goes out again )
Scene 4
Chatsky, Repetilov (the latter runs into the hall from the porch, falls down and puts himself straight hurriedly)
Repetilov God damn it! Oh my Lord! My eyes! Where are you from, my friend? Mon cher! My dear friend! Just from abroad? They used to be so critical of me. They said I was a chatterer a man of superstitions, That I endulged in premonitions. Just now -- how do you account for that? -- I stumbled in the doorway and fell flat. I hurried here as if I knew That I was going to see you. Make fun of me, and say that I, As always, want to tell a lie. For you I feel affection of some kind, A kind of ailment passion and ... I bet my soul, you'll never find Another friend So true to you! Upon my life! I do not care, if I lose my wife, My children, or I'm left alone In the whole wide world, all on my own. I do not care if I live or die...
Chatsky Stop talking nonsense! And don't lie!
Repetilov It's natural that you should hate me, I find it easy to talk to other people. With you I always seem to be So humble, miserable, stupid, simple.
Chatsky Or what a queer self abasement!
Repetilov Do scold me! I'm far from being complacent, And when I think about the way I used to idle... Say, what's the time now?
Chatsky Since you are here for the ball you may Go home. It will be over in an hour.
Repetilov The ball? Where we are bound By the decorum, and where we cannot break away From a heavy burden? Have you read the book about?..
Chatsky And have you read it? Say, You, Repetilov? Tell me really.
Repetilov Call me a vandal! I deserve it, that is. I highly valued people that were silly, And all my life I raved about balls and parties, I would forget my children and my wife. I'd play and lose, they put me in a ward, I kept a dancer. One was not enough, But I had three of them. My God! I drank like mad! I wouldn't sleep nine days on end, oh my! I denied everything: the law and honour and belief!
Chatsky I say! You ought to know the limits when you lie! There's a reason to be filled with grief.
Repetilov You may congratulate me for I know Most clever people now. I'm not bored any more.
Chatsky Do you feel bored tonight?
Repetilov Not just tonight. Do you know where I was?
Chatsky Well, I suppose, You were in a club.
Repetilov That's right. The English Club, and, frankly speaking, I'm now straight from a noisy meeting. I promised them to hold my tongue. So mums the word, agreed? We have a circle. A society. And that's a secret. We have our sessions Thursdays, see?
Chatsky My dear friend, you scare me. Where is it? In the Club?
Repetilov Oh yes.
Chatsky There are extraordinary measures About chucking all of you with all your secrets out.
Repetilov You needn't be afraid. We talk aloud But nobody can make anything out. Me too, when hearing people talk about prison cells and juries, About Byron and that stuff, I just get curious, I listen carefully, and it's a pity I don't get anything for my stupidity, Ah Alexander, we've been missing you. Now listen, dear, I should ask you to Do me a favour, let's go there now, I'll introduce you, if you allow, To such nice people! They're not like me, to tell the truth, They're so wonderful. The cream of youth!
Chatsky I do not care for them, nor you. Where shall I go? Why should I? In the dead of night? Well, no.
Repetilov Come on! Who is asleep now? Why hesitate? Let's go! The people there are just great! A dozen of daring hot heads, But when we talk you'd think we're hundreds.
Chatsky Why be so frantic? What's the goal?
Repetilov We make a noise, my brother.
Chatsky Noise? Well, is that all?
Repetilov This isn't time and place for explanation, It is a state affair in a way, Though it is not an urgent situation, Such things are not done in a day. What kind of people are they? Well, here's my story: There is for instance count Grigory, A queer man, he is great fun, Has all the makings of an Englishman, His hair is always in good trim. Are you familiar? You ought to meet him, There's another man. He's Yevdokim Vorkulov. You should have heard him sing! His voice is such a love! There is a song he sings, you know?: «Ah! Non lashiar me, no, no, no.» There are two men, Levon and Borya, they're brothers, Nice people. Just like all the others. There isn'tmuch to say about these two, But I can name our genius, if you want me to, It is Udushyev Ippolit Martynych. Have you read much of him? At least an inch. I recommend you. Though he doesn't seem To write anything now. If I were to decide, I'd whip him with a rod repeating: «Write, write, write»; You'll find an extract in a journal, by the way, It's called «A Point Of View And Something»". What is it all about? Everything. He knows everything. We save him for an evil day. Our leader is like no one else in our Russian land, I needn't give his name, you will understand. A night-time robber and a duel fan, He was in exile in Kamchatka, no surprise, From there he returned an Aleutian man. He's a rogue: with clever men it can't be otherwise, But when he, filled with frenzied inspiration, Starts holding forth on honesty He reddens ridden with obsession And bursts out crying. So do we. Such are the people, they are really a rarity I'm one of them. I'm a mediocrity, I'm lazy, not so well advanced. It's aweful! But when I set to work straining my mind I sit an hour like a fool And bear out a pun of a kind, Some people find my thought amusing And putting half a dozen heads together Make up a sketch, another six compose the music, Still other six will clap their hands, They're birds of a feather. You are laughing, man, But that's the way it is, I'm not endowed by God with capabilities But I'm kind. That's why they like me. They pardon me when I tell lies...
The footman (standing at the porch) The coach of Skalozub!
Repetilov Who's coach you said?
Scene 5
The same people and Skalozub. He comes down the stairs.
Repetilov (stepping towards him) Ah Skalozub, my dear friend! Wait, wait. Don't go away. (Hugging him.)
Chatsky Where shall I go? (goes into the porters's lodge)
Repetilov I haven't heard of you since long ago. You've joined a regiment, they say. Are you familiar? (Looking around to see Chatsky.) The stubborn man. He's gone. You are the one Whom I was looking for? Let's go with me. There are a lot of people at Grigory's About forty of us, you will see. A bunch of wit, that's what it is. They'll talk all night without getting tired. First they will treat you to shampaign up to the chin, Then they will teach you something you and I Would never think of, or imagine.
Skalozub Man, you won't have it on me with erudition. Tell someone else. And if you wish, then A seargent from my regiment will serve As a Voltair to your Grigory and yourself. He'll get you into ranks of three And if you say a word, he'll calm you down quickly.
Repetilov Well, service is the only thing you whant to know. I, too, should strive for ranks, but I'm A failure. I miscarried years ago, I was in civil service at the time, Baron von Klotz had an ambition To get a minister's position. And I Had an eye To be his son in law, I made no bones about it. His wife and he Played cards with me. I lost tremendous sums of money, I built a house in Fontanka street, The place where the Baron lived. A house with columns. Huge! So costly! I married their daughter finally. Did I get dowery! Hell! No! And no promotions. The son of law of a German. There was no use. He was afraid of rumours and reproaches For being biased to his relatives, The deuce! His secretaries! The miserable riff-raff! The wretched scriblers! They are important now. They've got on in the world, and how! Look in the calendar: the ranks, the crosses and the service. Lakhmotyev Alexey was really clever to suggest; We need most drastic remedies For our stomachs won't digest. (stops talking, seeing that Zagoretsky has taken Skalozub's place, who left the house by then)
Scene 6
Repetilov, Zagoretsky
Zagoretsky Go on. Go on. To be sincere, I'm as liberal as you. I'm straight, I speak without fear, That's why I've lost so much. I've got my due.
Repetilov (with regret) All are apart! And all keep mute! If someone leaves, the other follows suit. First Chatsky vanished, then the colonel did.
Zagoretsky What do you think of Chatsky?
Repetilov He's man of wit. I met him now, there was a chat About a vaudeville and that; I liked the talk though nobody talked sense. Chatsky and I... We are good friends.
Zagoretsky And did you notice that He's sort of mad?
Repetilov It's rubbish!
Zagoretsky Everybody says so.
Repetilov No, it's a lie!
Zagoretsky Ask people.
Repetilov No.
Zagoretsky Oh there they come: the count, the countess And their daughters.
Repetilov Staff and nonsense, that is.
Scene 7
Repetilov, Zagoretsky, the count and the countess with their six daughters; a little later Khlyostova comes down the front stair. Molchalin holds her by the hand, the footmen fuss about.
Zagoretsky Now, ladies, tell me, if you please, Is Chatsky mad?
1st countess No doubt, he is.
2nd countess Well, anyone will tell you that.
3rd countess The Dryanskys, the Varlyanskys, The Khvorovs, the Skatchkovs.
4th countess It isn't new for everybody knows.
5th countess Who doubts then?
Zagoretsky This here man does not believe.
6th countess You!
All together Messeur Repetilov! You! Messeur Repetilov is it true? How can you be against us all? Why should you? Don't feel ashamed at all?
Repetilov (shuts his ears) I didn't know it was so open, sorry.
The countess He is a dangerous man, Don't listen to his story. It is about time to lock him in, I think he's a Jacobine. To listen to him he is wittier Than anyone on earth, even duke Peter. Your Chatsky!!!... Come along, count, you take Kate Or Zizzie with you. Are we six or seven?
Khlyostova (from the stair) The cards. You didn't pay the debt.
Countess I owe you.
Everybody (to one another) Far you well. (The family departs, so does Zagoretsky.)
Scene 8
Repetilov, Khlyostova, Molchalin.
Repetilov Good heaven! Anfisa Nilovna! Oh poor Chatsky! There! Who needs your wisdom and your care? And what's the use of going out of one's way?
Khlyostova It is God's wish. Anyway He will be treated. Maybe cured in the end. While you're quite incurable, my friend, What on earth made you come round? Molchalin, you don't try to please me, Don't see me out. Goodbye! It's time to come to reason. (Molchalin goes into his room. She departs.)
Scene 9
Repetilov and his footman.
Repetilov It's coming to the break of day. Where shall I go to now? Yes, where? Come, put me in the cab. Take me away. Take me just anywhere. (departs)
Scene 10
The last light goes down.
Chatsky (comes out of the footman's room) What's that? I can't believe my ears! It isn't fun. It's evil, it appears. How come? As if by miracle or majesty They all talk nonsense about me! For some it's like a funny trick, While others seem quite sympathetic... Who was the first to spin the yarn?! Somebody raised a noise -- no sooner said than done -- And there you have public opinion. Does Sofia know it? They have told her, yes. Not that she meant to spite me -- no! She doesn't care if it's me or someone else, She had some fun and doesn't want to know, She doesn't care for anyone -- for me or him. Why did she faint then, God only knows. Is it her shattered nerves or is it just a whim That comes and goes? I thought it was a sign of passion -- I was wrong. She would have broken down just as well If she hadseen someone step on A pussy's or a puppy's tail.
Sofia (above the stair, candle in hand) It's you, Molchalin? (closes the door quickly)
Chatsky It's Sofia! Oh, yes, I see her! Good Lord! My head's burning and my blood begins to stir. She has turned up, or is it just dreams? I'm out of my mind, it seems. I'm used to mysteries and I Should not deceive myself, should I? This time it's not a vision, it's a date. She called Molchalin, so I'd rather wait.
His footman (from the porch) The cab... You need...
Chatsky Hush. (Pushes him out) I'll stay and keep an eye on it Till morning. Once I am to drain a cup of woe Let it be so. Let it be now, not afterwards. For a delay Won't save me anyway. The door is opening. (hides himself behind a column)
Scene 11
Chatsky is hidden. Lizzie, candle in hand.
Lizzie Good heaven! I'm filled with fear My torturer, the lady... sent me here. Black night! The empty hall! I'm scared of ghosts. Or any living soul. This Chatsky, he is like an eye sore. She says she saw him down on this floor. (Looks around) A lot he cares about walking around! By now he's surely got out! He put his love off for another day, I bet! He hurried home and -- straight to bed. But I must call him anyway. (knocks at Molchalin door) Wake up! Will you wake up! I say! The lady calls you, do you hear? Be quick, you must get through unseen.
Scene 12
Chatsky is behind the column, Lizzie, Molchalin (stretches his arms and yawns), Sofia (sneeks down the stair).
Lizzie You, sir, you heart of stone, thick skin!
Molchalin Ah Lizzie! Who sent you over here?
Lizzie The lady.
Molchalin There's one thing I'm thinking of: These cheeks, these veins and all Have not yet seen the flush of love. What makes you want to be at beck and call?
Lizzie You suitors shouldn't stay in bed Idling away your time and lazing, For handsome is who doesn't get Enough of sleep before the wedding.
Molchalin The wedding? Whom with?
Lizzie With the lady.
Molchalin There's room for hope before the wedding.
Lizzie But sir! Is there any other fiancee?
Molchalin Who knows? I'm scared to think About one thing: I'm afraid that Pavel Afanasiych may Take us by surprise some day. He'll curse me! Fire me! I'll be frank: you see, Sofia has nothing to adore her for. I wish her well. She will stop loving me, Like she's not in love with Chatsky any more. I wish I cared half as much for her As I do care for you, my dear. Alas, no matter how I try to stir My feelings -- I cool down when I see Sofia.
Sofia (aside) Oh what a wicked man!
Chatsky (from behind the column) A scoundrel he is!
Lizzie Aren't you ashamed?
Molchalin My father taught me this: I must please all and everyone -- The host of house I would live in, The boss I'd work with and the man That would keep my clothes clean, The sweeper of the yard, and, just in case, His dog to win its love and kindness.
Lizzie They are all guardians of yours.
Molchalin Now I pretend to be a lover To please the daughter of one of those...
Lizzie The one that feeds you, gives you cover? Sometimes ranks, too? Well, that will do.
Molchalin Let's go. We've talked enough. Let's share our sad girl's love. Let me embrace you, most sincerely. (Lizzie pushes him away) I wish you were Sofia, really. (He wants to go, but Sofia doesn't let him)
Sofia (almost in a whisper.Talking is in a low voice during the whole scene) Don't you come near. I have heard it! You scoundrel! What a shame! Oh what a mistake.
Molchalin Why Sofia Pavlovna...
Sofia Don't say a word. I can do anything. Don't talk, for goodness sake.
Molchalin (falls down on his knees, Sofia pushes him away) Remember please! Have mercy. Look and see!
Sofia I don't remember anything. Forget me!
Molchalin (grovels at her feet) Have pity...
Sofia Don't be mean. Get up. You wretched thing. I don't want any answer. For I know You'll tell a lie again...
Molchalin Have mercy...
Sofia No. No. No.
Molchalin I said it just for fun... don't make a fuss...
Sofia You'd better now leave me alone Or else I'll wake up everyone, And I don't care, if I ruin both of us. (Molchalin raises) I wish that I had never known you. Do not expect me to complain, reproach or cry. Get out of the house so that I Might never hear of you again.
Molchalin Well, as you wish.
Sofia Or else I'll tell papa the truth. I'll get my due, But I don't care about the consequence. Now go! No, wait. You should be glad that you Were more than shy When you and I Had dates at nights, And even in the daytime When everyone could see You were dishonest, but not so saucy, And I'm Pleased to have discovered everything, There's nothing To reproach me of. There are no withesses Except when I lost consciousness. Chatsky was here... no...
Chatsky (comes up quickly between them) Yes, you pretender!
Lizzie and Sofia Oh! Oh! (Lizzie drops the candle out of fright. Molchalin goes into his room.)
Scene 13
The same people, except Molchalin.
Chatsky She's quick to faint. Now it can be justified, There's a reason for it this time. That is the answer for the riddle for I'm Aware to whom I have been sacrified! I just restrained myself which wasn't wise, I saw it -- I did not believe my eyes! As for the sweetheart who has betrayed a friend And has ignored a woman's fear and shame, He's hidden now behind the door in an attempt To shirk the answer. Oh this fortune's game! Repudiated heartful men! The scourge! Molchalins are as pleased as Punch!
Sofia (in tears) Don't speak. It is my fault through and through, But who could think he was so cunning!
Lizzie There's a knock! A noise! People are coming! The father will be greatful to you.
Scene 14
Chatsky, Sofia, Lizzie, Famusov, a crowd of footmen, candle in hand.
Famusov Be quick! Be quick! Come here! Follow me! Bring candles, lanterns, I can't see! Where are the footmen? My! I see familiar faces! My daughter Sofia Pavlovna! What a disgrace it is! Where is she? Whom with?! Upon my life! She's like her mother, my deceased wife. My better half: each time I got away She'd find a man to pass the time of day! For heaven's sake! How did he win your heart? Wasn't it you who called him mad? I have been silly, blind. Oh my! It is a plot. And all the guests and he Were involved in that conspiracy.
Chatsky (to Sofia) So is it you whom I should thank for all this lie?
Famusov No, brother, you're cheating, and I'll never let it pass. I don't believe you, it's an invention of your own. You, Filka, crazy stupid ass! I made a doorman out of a lazybone! Whatever happens, he never knows! Where were you? Where did you go? Why did you not lock up the doors? How come, you missed all this? How come, you didn't you know? I'll send you to the farm, to work there in the fields. About selling me you'd make no bones. You, watchful girl! With your perpertual tricks; That is the fruit of love of fashion shops and clothes! You've learnt to pimp and pander lovers. I'll put you right. I know what I can do. Go feed the paultry! Move to the service-house! My dear daughter, you, too, will get your due, Have patience; my decision will be simple: You will not live here in Moscow with the people. In a day or two I'll send you off To a God-forsaken place,your aunt's, near Saratov. You'll pass the time there grieving, Sitting tambour in hand, card-reading. And I should ask you, Chatsky, this: You will not visit her by any means, With you I'll draw the line at this: All doors will be locked up for you by all the families. I'll do my best to make a din, I'll make the whole of Moscow learn it. I'll make it public, ring the toscin, I'll write the ministers, the sovereign and the Senate.
Chatsky (after a short silence) I try to come to reason, But I can't, I listen but I do not understand. As if I needed further explanation, I'm at a loss... I'm in expectation... (Passionately) I'm blind! I wanted a reward For all my efforts!... I just rushed along. I hurried here for I thought That happiness was close, but I was wrong. The kind of a choice you've made. My goodness! You! Just think of whom you have preferred me to! Whom did I talk to, humbly, lovingly, today? Why did I waste my words of tenderness in such a way? Why did you inspire hope in me? Why didn't you tell me openly That you had turned the past to fun And that your memories ignore All we had felt and said and done? I'm still feeling as before. And neither travels nor diversions Have killed my tenderest emotions. I lived with them through thick and thin. If you had told me that you hated everything: My coming home, the way I talk, The sight of me, the way I walk, I should have broken off with you And would not have tried of course, To find out who your admirer was... (With derision) You'd better now put up with him. What is the use of worrying? Just make the most of him. Make him an errand boy, A sort of a domestic envoy, A husband and a page, a husband and a footman, The dream of every Moscow gentleman. Enough! I'm proud to have broken off with you. And you, sir, you hold rank in reverence. I wish that you remained in blissful ignorance: The aim of marrying Sofia I don't pursue. There'll be another, a well behaved one, A toady and a business-minded man. With all those merits and with many more He'll make an equal to his father-in-law. So I'm englightened. You should realize: The dreams are over, and the scales are off my eyes. Now I can have a bitter word With you that used to court her And with the whole wide world. Where do I find myself by evel fortunes? How can I bear this crowd of torturers? They ostracize me! Curse me! All those story tellers! Betrayers of love and enemies as well as Ungainly connoisseurs and cunning laymen, Malicious aged men and women That grow descreet living on lies. You all have made me known as a fool. You're right: he will get out of the fire who After remaining a day with you, And breathing air with people of your kind Will not get out of his mind. Away from Moscow! Catch me being here again! I'll go around the world in search Of a place with room for outraged feeling!.. The coach! The coach! (Exits)
Scene 15
All except Chatsky.
Famusov Well, he's off his head, you see? Now tell me seriously: What did this madman talk about here? Calling me names! Talking of Moscow threateningly! Do you intend to ruin me, my love? Isn't my fate deplorable enough? My goodness! What will countess Marya Aleksevna say to this?