John Oliver Offers Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas $1 Million a Year to Resign
by Colby Hall
MediaIte
Feb 19th, 2024, 7:17 am
https://www.mediaite.com/tv/john-oliver ... to-resign/
John Oliver made Justice Clarence Thomas an offer too good to refuse, but he has 30 days to take a cool million a year — plus a sweet bus — or it goes away.
Oliver made the stunning offer at the end of Sunday evening’s Last Week Tonight, referencing numerous reports that Thomas never declared lavish vacations with mega-wealthy Republican donors to luxurious resorts.
As the show ended, Oliver addressed Thomas and said, “Lot on your plate right now. From stripping away women’s rights to hearing January 6th cases, you definitely shouldn’t be hearing two potentially helping rollback decades of federal regulations.”
“And you deserve a break, you know, away from the meanness of Washington so you can be surrounded by the regular folks whose lives you made demonstrably worse for decades. Now. The good news is, I think we can help you with that because since your favorite mode of travel might be in need of an upgrade, we are excited to offer you this brand new top-of-the-line cray boat marathon motor coach!”
Oliver then touted the $2 million touring bus, complete with king-sized bed, fireplace, and four televisions, before returning to address the Supreme Court justice’s inner dialog.
“I think you’re thinking, what would my friend say if I take this offer? Will they judge me as they sit in their boardrooms and mega yachts and Hitler shrines? Will they still treat me to luxury vacations and sing songs about me off their phones?” he asked rhetorically. “Well, that’s the beauty of friendship, Clarence. If they’re real friends, they’ll love you no matter what your job is. So I guess this might be the perfect way to find out who your real friends actually are. ”
“So that’s the offer. $1 million a year, Clarence. And a brand new condo on wheels. And all you have to do to return is sign the contract and get the fuck off the Supreme Court. Talk it over with your totally best friend in the whole world. Because the clock starts now. Thirty days, Clarence,” Oliver concluded.” Let’s do this!”
Clarence Thomas’s Billionaire Benefactor Collects Hitler Art
From crooked judges who hand victories to those who appoint them to office, to corrupt bar prosecutors who are unable to protect the public from crooked lawyers, to sheriffs and police who declare themselves above the law, to congressional members who refuse to obey the laws they themselves enact, the nation is under attack. The courts have become a theater in which absurd results and outrageous consequences are routinely announced as normal. Here we consider and dismember these routine outrages that threaten to completely overwhelm the common, reasonable understanding of right and wrong.
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