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CRY-BABY -- ILLUSTRATED SCREENPLAY

***

[HATCHET-FACE] Ah. Oh, man.

[COW] [bell dings] [moos at Hatchet-Face]

[MILTON] Come on, gorgeous.

[cloth ripping]

[helicopter approaching]

[Rubber Biscuit by The Chips playing]

[HATCHET] Look. Is that the prison?

[Song playing] Chick'n hon-a-chick-a-chick hole-a-hubba
He'll ride a chuck-a-lucka wanna jubba

[HATCHET] Move over, Milton. Let me try.

[Song playing] Hi-low 'n-ay wanna dubba hubba
Day down sum wanna jigga-wah

They'll ride a wanna lubba hubba

[HATCHET] Geronimo!

[laughs]

[Song playing] We all ride a wanna dib-a-doo

[PRISONERS] [shouting]

[MAN 1] What do we have here?

[MAN 2] Who is that?

[HATCHET-FACE] This is a jailbreak!

[Song playing] She'll ride wanna dib-a-doo
Downtown wanna dib-a-doo

[PRISONERS] [clamoring]

[gunfire continues]

[WADE] Milton! Hatchet!

[HATCHET-FACE] Cry-Baby, where are you?
Cry-Baby!

[MAN 1] He's in the library!

[MAN 2] No, no, he's in the cafeteria!

[MAN 3] No, man, he's in the hole.

[MAN 4] No, he's in the movies. That way!

[PRISONERS] [clamoring]

[HATCHET-FACE] Cry-Baby!

***

[ACTRESS] Hurry, David.

[ACTOR] I've almost got it.

[ACTRESS] [screaming]

[PRISONERS] [screaming]

[PRISONERS] [yelling]

[clamoring]

[Song playing] She'll ride a hole-a-hubba
She'll ride a hole-a-hubba
He'll drive a wanna jubba

Hurry up!
I'll ride sum wanna jigga-wah
Bring me down a one lubba hubba
We'll ride a hubbin in the lubba hubba
Hmm, what you want for nothin'?

[HATCHET-FACE] [yelling]

[glass breaking]

[Song playing] Dow wow ooo

***

[WADE] [panting]
[screaming]
[grunting]

[RATS] [squeaking]

[WADE] [yelling]

[RATS] [squeaking]

[WADE] [to a rat] What's down here?
What, this way?

[RATS] [squeaking]

[WADE] Ohhh.

Thanks, pal.

[grunting]

[PRISONERS & GUARDS] [laughing]

[RATS] [squeaking]

***

[CHATTERBOX ORPHANAGE]

[MRS. TADLOCK] Just come right this way.
Now, uh, this is, uh, Sheila.

She's Caucasian, but that's about all I can recommend.
Bad table manners.

[RAMONA] Uh, we were thinking of two children, actually.

[PEPPER] About 6 or 7 years old.

[BELVEDERE] With some spunk.

[MRS. TADLOCK] Well, now, what about him?

[TAKE ME HOME]

[MRS. TADLOCK] Little Joey, mother's little helper.
He not only vacuums, he does windows.
Irons. Yes.

[PEPPER] Here, these are the ones we want.

[BELVEDERE] A double-header!

[SNARE DRUM and SUZIE-Q] Yay!

[RAMONA] Oh, they're adorable. We'll take them.

[MRS. TADLOCK] Uh-uh. Now, that's a thing with 2 heads,
absolutely not.

Siamese twins are a financial burden.
Sewing all those old school clothes together.

You're not psychologically equipped.

[PEPPER] Mrs. Tadlock, these are my children and I'm taking them with me.

[RAMONA] That's right, sister.

[KIDS] [cheering]

[MRS. TADLOCK] You!

[KIDS] [clamoring]

[MRS. TADLOCK] Let me outta here. Help.

[tires squealing]

[PEPPER] Good going.

[RAMONA] That was great.

[PEPPER] I'm so proud of you!

[tires squealing]

[RAMONA] Come on, we got to get to the Enchanted Forest. Turn left.

[BELVEDERE] No, turn right.

[tires squealing]

***

[THE ENCHANTED FOREST]

[BALDWIN & GANG] [Scatting] [Mr. Sandman Playing] Mr. Sandman

[BALDWIN] [scatting] [to Allison] Yes?

[SQUARES] [laughing]

[ALLISON] [Scatting] Bring me a dream

[BALDWIN & GANG] [scatting] I am the cutest that she's ever seen

Give her the word that I'm not a rover

[MRS. VERNON WILLIAMS] Oh.

[BALDWIN & GANG] [scatting] Then tell her that her lonesome nights are over

[MRS. VERNON WILLIAMS] What?

[RAMONA] Shh.

[BALDWIN & GANG] [Scatting] Please turn on your magic beam

[BALDWIN, GANG & ALLISON] Why, Mr. Sandman, bring her a dream

Mister Sandman, bring us a dream

[ALLISON] Us a dream

[BALDWIN & GANG] [Scatting] Give him a pair of eyes with a come hither gleam

Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci

And lots of wavy hair like Liberace

Mr. Sandman someone to hold
Would be so preachy before we're too old

So please turn on your magic beam

Mr. Sandman bring us

Please, please please, Mr. Sandman

Bring us a dream

[audience cheering]

[BELVEDERE] [dressed up in a rabbit costume, swings in and grabs Allison]

[SQUARES] [screaming]

[DRAPES] [cheering]

[SQUARES] Drapes!

[MILTON] Allison Vernon-Williams, the decision is yours.

[BELVEDERE] You sang with the Squares. Now sing with the Drapes.

[all] [cheering]

[MRS. VERNON WILLIAMS] Yay!

[HATCHET-FACE] Cry-baby needs you.

[BALDWIN] We'll get married and live in suburbia.
I love you, Allison.

[ALLISON] I don't wanna hurt you, Baldwin.

[LENORA] I had my baby. Isn't he cute?
I'm a Square now.

Wave to Allison.

[MRS. VERNON WILLIAMS] You may be a Square, Lenora, but you're still a tramp.

[ALL] Oh.

[MRS. VERNON WILLIAMS] Allison, pick the man who loves you the most.

***

[ALLISON] [singing] Please, Mr. Jailer

won't you let my man go free?

Please, Mr. Jailer
won't you let my man go free?
He don't belong in prison
though he's guilty as can be
But the only crime he's guilty of

is simply loving me

Please, Mr. Jailer

won't you let my man go free?

[ALL] [singing] Please, Mr. Jailer

[ALLISON] [singing] Won't you let my man go free?
Yeah, yeah, yeah

[ALL] [singing] Please, Mr. Jailer
won't you let this jailbird free?

[PRISONERS] [singing] Whoa, whoa, whoa

[ALLISON] [singing] Just look into his eyes

Open up that door
Just listen to his guitar, you'll know the score

[WADE] [singing] Please, Mr. Jailer
let an honest man go free

[ALLISON] [singing] Yeah, yeah, yeah

[ALL] [singing] Please, Mr. Jailer

don't you make no lifer out of me

I'm innocent, I swear it

Let my woman testify
She'll tell you where I was that night

[ALLISON] [singing] Yeah, I'm his alibi

[ALL] [singing] Please, Mr. Jailer

[ALLISON] [singing] Won't you let my man go free?

[WADE] [singing] Well, I'm tired of pressing license plates
down in this rotten hole
I gotta reach the outside before I lose control

Please, Mr. Jailer
don't you make no lifer out of me

[PRISONERS] [clamoring]

[ALLISON] [singing] Yeah, yeah, yeah

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