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BOOTS ON THE GROUND BY DUSK: MY TRIBUTE TO PAT TILLMAN |
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
When I met Narda Zacchino in June of 2005, she and her husband, Robert Scheer, told me I should write a book to ensure that Pat's story is told completely and accurately. At that time I had no desire to write a book. I was preoccupied with researching documents and trying to make sense out of what happened on April 22, 2004. However, as the year passed, it became clear that nothing yet presented in newspapers, in magazines, on the Internet, or on television adequately brought to light the vast discrepancies and serious contradictions in the official accounts of Pat's death. When Narda continued to insist that revealing the truth of what happened to Pat was vital to the country, I was persuaded to take on the project. We began working on the book in the summer of 2006. In the hours away from our jobs, we were almost constant companions. I spent many weekends in Narda's warm and welcoming home scrutinizing documents, researching information, and recounting Events into a tape recorder for her to transcribe. Not only did Narda work with me, analyzing documents and researching military terms and procedures, she also organized many of my recorded memories into a detailed sequential narrative from which I could draw as I told Pat's story in my own words. When I completed each chapter, she then subtly and expertly edited the pages without disturbing my voice. I commend Narda for how persistently she has worked on this project, for how patiently she has dealt with me at times of great frustration, and for how loyally she stood by my family through two congressional hearings. I'm grateful for Narda's belief in our search for the truth and the tremendous support, expertise, and passion she provided. Even before Narda and I intended to write a book, we spent countless hours examining the results of the official investigations. As we scrutinized the documents, however, we ran into formidable barriers in the form of redactions and impenetrable Army jargon that made it extremely difficult to make sense of what we were reading. We also were at a disadvantage because we knew little about military procedures and protocol. We needed an expert to interpret and demystify the military's insular culture. In May of 2006, we encountered such an expert in Stan Goff. Stan served in the US Army from 1970 to 1996. He served as a Ranger and as a Delta Force operator. He has spent countless hours reading the documents, researching, constructing timelines, interpreting military documents, and preparing a glossary of terms. Stan located forensics and ballistics experts and met with them in Rockville, Maryland, before they reviewed Pat's autopsy pictures and related material. In helping us, Stan spent many hours away from his family and forfeited other projects. I thank Stan for the personal sacrifices he made to improve this book and for his steadfast friendship to our family. I also thank his wife, Sherry, for being so patient and good-natured about the time she gave to Stan to help with this endeavor. Robert Scheer devoted several extremely powerful newspaper columns to Pat's case in order to draw attention to the disturbing nature of his death. I'm thankful for his efforts, and for his wisdom and patience in supporting Narda and me through the writing process. I thank him, too, for sharing Narda with me when I know he wanted her to himself. I'm grateful to Josh, Peter, Christopher, and Ben Scheer, for graciously sharing their home for two and a half years. I want them to know I appreciate it. I thank Josh for being so agreeable about helping his mother and me research obscure information; Peter, for talking me through setting up my new computer and fax machine; Chris, for assisting his mother with editing the book proposal; and Ben, for simply being Ben. I commend them, as well, for taking in stride the disruption brought to their lives by this project. Narda and I asked Joanne Miller, Heidi Swillinger, Barbra Frank, Nikki McLaughlin, Caitlin Sullivan, and Chris Baron to assist in editing the book. I thank them for their thorough reading, constructive editing, kind praise, gentle criticism, and the gift of their time. I often began writing about situations and events that were vague or unclear in my mind. At those points I invited individuals who were familiar with the circumstances to read portions of the book. They were extremely helpful in maintaining accuracy. Thank you to: James and Ginny Chapman, Alex and Christine Garwood, Sherri and Jim Greer, Jeff and Cindy Hechtle, Peggy and Syd Melbourne, Carmen Navarro, and Paul and Bindy Ugenti. My many readers read the manuscript to critique tone, construct, and voice. They validated, heartened, and inspired me. I extend my appreciation to all of them: Janice Aron, Marcelle Chapman, Diane Delbridge, Jean Farrington, Julie Filippini, Pat Frisch, Sherri and Jim Greer, Kari Hansen, Elahe Hajazi, Joanne Howell, Michelle Jannone, Martha Kelley, Dolores Kesterson, Linda and Larry Marmie, Greg Martin, Don McCloskey, Liz and Keith McDavit, Kandi Owens, Karen Pelosi, Terri Peterson, Annie Purinton, Lori Rausher, Adele Shepard, Lannie Spalding, Katie and Tom Stoddard, Janette Supp, Joan Tillman, Kevin Tillman, Marie Tillman, Patrick K. Tillman, Richard Tillman, Julie Melbourne-Weaver, and Bonnie Wohl. I want to sincerely thank the community of New Almaden, and the administration, staff, students, and parents of Bret Harte Middle School. I thank Sergeant Bryan O'Neal and Navy Senior Chief Stephen White for supporting my family and me in our search for the truth. I thank them for their unwavering friendship, and I admire them for their integrity and courage. I thank Russell Baer and Tamara Wright for assisting and supporting us during the most stressful and traumatic time of their lives. I extend my gratitude to Peggy Buryj, Dawn Hellerman, Dolores Kesterson, Nadia McCaffrey, Karen Meredith, and Liz Sweet. They have touched my life with their stories and have supported our search for the truth, so they might find answers of their own. Thank you to Dr. Robert Bux and Dr. Vincent DiMaio. I want to thank my agent, Steve Wasserman, for his belief in this story and for his persistence in making certain it would be told, and Jill Kneerim, for her wisdom, patience, and guidance during those frightening early stages of writing. To my editor, Leigh Haber, I am grateful for your faith and confidence in this book, for your skilled yet light touch, and for your very open mind. I am privileged to have many wonderful people in my life who support and care about my family and me. Their expressions of kindness, generosity, encouragement, and understanding -- great and small -- are valued and will never be forgotten. However, since I began writing this book, there are certain individuals -- colleagues, neighbors, and friends -- who have been particularly supportive, assisting, motivating, and inspiring me on nearly a daily or weekly basis. To them, I offer a special thanks: Cathy Bagan, Marcelle Chapman, Diane Delbridge, Jean Farrington, Carolyn Fortino, Pat Frisch, Sherri and Jim Greer, Elahe Hajze, Kari Hansen, Joanne Howell, Katrina Kalman, Mary Kearny, Martha Kelley, Don McCloskey, Nick and Sam Miller, Syd and Peggy Melbourne, Scott Murray, Elizabeth Navarro, Tiara Nelson, Karen Pelosi, Annie Purinton, Adele Shepard, Debbie Stanley, Amy Wagner, Rhonda Weltz, Nancy Witt, Bonnie Wohl, and Sandy Yokota. To Carman Navarro, whose assistance, serene presence, and wisdom were invaluable. Thank you, Carmen. To Gale Resz, who predicted I was carrying Pat before I knew it myself. Thank you for the love, patience, and support that thirty-two years of friendship entails. To Kevin Young and Jane Frost, I extend my heartfelt appreciation for your understanding and assistance. I thank my mother, Victoria Spalding. If I have any gift for telling a story, I owe it to her. Thank you to my brother Mike Spalding, one of my best friends and staunchest advocates. For him, this book is a necessity. Gratitude to my brother Richard Spalding, for his big heart, for being so supportive of my efforts with the book, and for being so confident that it will make a difference. My heartfelt gratitude to Michelle Jannone for the gracious way she has stood by us. I want to thank Patrick K. Tillman, for the sons we share, and for trusting me, and so staunchly supporting me, as I have written this account of Pat's life and death. To Mary Badame, thank you for being there for Pat's father, for your unwavering encouragement, and for being a friend. To Kandi Owens, thank you for the sunshine. Pat has been gone for four years. I miss his physical presence, and I always will, but his energy is all around me. It lives in my vivid memories of him, in the earnest and loving letters he left behind, and in the stories shared by his friends and acquaintances. Most of all, it lives in his brothers, Kevin and Richard, and in his wife, Marie. Marie, I'm grateful that Pat had you in his life. Just as I see in you some of the steel and spirit I recognized in him, a relaxed gentleness developed from the friendship, love, and respect you provided. I appreciate how watchful you are of Pat's legacy. Thank you for your trust throughout this project. Richard, you were the first person to defy the stereotype that was becoming Pat. You had the courage to plant the seed at his memorial service, informing the public that he was a man who followed his own head and heart; for that I will always be grateful. Your unfaltering faith in me, and in the book, has been a source of tremendous confidence and pride. Kevin, I thank you for persistently going after the truth of what happened to Pat, and I commend you for bravely facing your chain of command in order to uncover the one testimony that would expose the first layer of cover-ups and lies. Without your dogged determination, our suspicions could not have been substantiated. While you were in the Army, you were Pat's right-hand man; after his death, you became mine. Narda Zacchino Mary Tillman is a force of nature. Clearly, military officials had no idea what would hit them when they lied to this family about how Patrick Tillman was killed. From the first time I met her, I knew this mother would let nothing stop her in getting at the truth of her son's death. I started working with Mary as an editor for the San Francisco Chronicle and was impressed with her keen intelligence, total lack of inhibition in confronting authority, and her ability to separate her deep emotions from the often ghastly accounts of her son's last moments to reach a dispassionate analysis of the facts. She led her family in questioning all of the government's highly suspect investigations and specious conclusions, never willing, even now, to settle for less than the truth. As a former investigative reporter, I was impressed that nothing in the thousands of pages of government documents we read escaped her meticulous eye. As we grew to work closely together, first for the Chronicle stories and later on the book, I witnessed a more personal side: the strength of her character, the purity of her integrity, the simplicity of what made her content -- and I got an understanding of who Pat was. I discovered Mary to be a very fine writer, her opening pages of the book one of the best beginnings of a nonfiction work I have read. Her evocative style made the book a pleasure to edit. She was an inspiration to other mothers who lost sons and were lied to by the military; they told me she empowered them to question the government in their own cases. I thank her for the hard work, the laughs, even the tears as she shared stories of Pat, and for introducing into my life her warm and remarkable family -- sons Richard and Kevin, Pat's widow Marie, his uncle Mike, Mary's former husband Patrick, her mother, Victoria -- and of course, Pat. Once Mary cleared the way (as one put it, "I will do anything Mrs. Tillman asks me to"), Pat's agent, Frank Bauer, and three of his coaches -- Larry Marmie, Dave McGinnis, and Lyle Setencich -- all together gave me hours of time and my earliest nonfamily insights into the young man who touched their lives, and I thank them. I share Mary's gratitude to our agent and friend Steve Wasserman for his vision and patience, and to Jill Kneerim for kick-starting the book proposal. I want to add to Mary's comments about Stan Goff by expressing gratitude for his humor, patience, and empathy for our nation's soldiers. My introductory call to him was interrupted when he was needed to help talk a young soldier returning from Iraq out of committing suicide; when the crisis was averted, Stan called me right back. My friends Barbra Frank, Heidi Swillinger, and Anne Weills provided not only editing skill and feedback but were there for me in too many ways to mention. A loving thank you goes to my sons Josh. Peter, and Christopher, and grandson Ben for keeping me humble. Above all, I thank my husband, Robert, for introducing me to Mary and for his understanding, tolerance, and support for the last year and a half. |