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BOOTS ON THE GROUND BY DUSK: MY TRIBUTE TO PAT TILLMAN |
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Chapter 15
For more than a year, I have spent hours on the phone, every spare moment I have, talking to soldiers who served with Pat and Kevin, the medical examiner, mortuary affairs personnel, ballistic experts, investigative journalists, and the staffs of congressmen and senators. Since several months after Pat's death, I have been going through Senator John McCain's office to get answers to my family's mounting concerns. However, I sense Pat's case has become something of a political encumbrance to McCain. Gradually, I have turned to my congressman, Mike Honda, for help, while Patrick has relied on the support of Zoe Lofgren, his representative in Congress. The Jones investigation has uncovered valuable information, but it has answered few of our questions. If anything, the report raises more suspicions about what happened to Pat. Patrick has written a series of very powerful, and sometimes inflammatory, letters to military and Department of Defense personnel. A few months ago, a letter he sent to General Jones came to the attention of the Department of Defense inspector general. Issues addressed in Patrick's letter, along with concerns raised by members of Congress, including Senator McCain, Senator Chuck Grassley, and Representatives Honda, Lofgren, Ike Skelton, Christopher Shays, and Dennis Kucinich, have prompted the inspector general to investigate Pat's death further.
In mid-September, I get a call from inspector general special agent Brian Grossman to set up an interview in several weeks. I arrange to have Mike, Richard, and Michelle at my house because they were present when Colonel Jeffrey Bailey came to tell us about the fratricide. I want the information we provide to be as accurate as possible. Kevin, who has been out of the military for three months, is in Hungary visiting friends and will have to be interviewed later. Agent Grossman also will interview Marie, who is living in New York, and Pat's father. Because my house can be difficult to find, I arrange for Agent Grossman to meet me at my school after work to follow me home. He is accompanied by Air Force Colonel Elizabeth Adams. Once inside, we gather around the dining table, on which Grossman has placed a tape recorder. After some preliminary conversation, we begin to discuss the various meetings, briefings, and documents we have received since Pat died. We express our concerns about the autopsy, the field hospital report, the psychological evaluations Pat received, the grossly negligent conduct of the soldiers in the vehicle, and the irresponsible orders of the officers in the tactical operations center. We also discuss the significance of Captain Richard Scott's report and his testimony to General Jones. In the course of our discussion I mention that Kevin believes Major David Hodne did the 15-6 report after Captain Scott did the initial investigation. It is difficult to figure out all the players since the documents are redacted. Grossman corrects me and tells me it was Colonel Ralph Kauzlarich who did the 15-6 report. I'm rather shaken by that, since Colonel Kauzlarich is the officer who makes disparaging remarks about our family not being Christian, and in his testimony to General Jones, he expresses disdain for Kevin for trying to get information about Pat's death. "It's coming to the point now where he's becoming a pain to [redacted] and [their] ability to do what they have to do train and deploy and fight and win." He also accuses Kevin of making verbal threats to soldiers. As I recall this, I become even more disturbed by what took place with Kevin seven months ago. About five months before his discharge, Kevin was given orders to deploy to Iraq attached to another unit. He had the option to decline because his brother had been killed, but he felt a responsibility to go, as he had made a commitment. However, when he learned he would be assigned to serve in a unit with soldiers involved in Pat's death, he went to his chain of command and said, "Sir, I'm being sent over there with guys who killed Pat; I'm a sniper, that's irresponsible, I'm not going." I find it disturbing that Kevin's superior officers were concerned about his behavior toward soldiers responsible for shooting Pat, yet they were willing to send him to a war zone with them. Grossman goes on to tell us he and his staff will he thinking "outside the box." He says that in his brief exposure to the documents, he has come to believe Pat's death should have been examined with a great deal more scrutiny, especially since so many people apparently knew within hours it had been a suspected fratricide. He also says he has concerns about the snipers who were assigned to the second serial. He wonders why they were never questioned. We ask him if his staff is going to look at the orders given by the chain of command that day, and he indicates it will. He says if his people uncover anything that appears to be criminal on the part of the soldiers, his office will call for a criminal investigation. He believes his review will take about a year. Within a week of our interview, the San Francisco Chronicle publishes a well-written and quite comprehensive article, written by Rob Collier, about our family's search for truth and the inspector general's inquiry into Pat's death. Over the next few months I stay in close contact with Grossman. Once Kevin returns home from his trip to Europe, he also communicates regularly with the agent. In November, I ask Kevin if I can have the number of Bryan O'Neal, the young soldier who was next to Pat when he was killed. Kevin had offered me the number several times, but I had felt it might be too emotional for Bryan and me to talk too soon. Dialing the number, I'm concerned the conversation will be awkward, but it's easy to talk to Bryan. I can understand why Pat was so fond of him. When I ask how he is doing, he tells me he has been treated very badly since Pat's death, something Kevin had learned months before. After Pat was killed, Bryan was whisked off to Ranger school so no one in the unit could talk to him. When he completed the school, he was assigned to the unit of Sergeant Kellett Sayre, the driver of Sergeant Greg Baker's vehicle. Sayre tried to convince Bryan that Pat was responsible for his own death, which appalls me. Bryan then tells me that what disturbs him is that he is certain he saw three people out of the vehicle shooting, and he thinks Sayre may have been one of them. I tell Bryan that General Jones told us the vehicle never stopped moving once it exited the canyon. Bryan tells me that is not true. I ask Bryan how far away he thinks Baker's vehicle was from his and Pat's position, and he says thirty-five to forty yards. I let him know I had talked with Sergeant Matt Weeks, who was positioned fifteen yards behind O'Neal and Pat, about the distance of the vehicle from Pat's position, and he told me "about forty yards." I hesitantly ask Bryan if he thinks Pat could have been killed deliberately. He wavers but ultimately says no. The next day, I call Grossman and tell him about my conversation with Bryan. I let him know that he said the vehicle had stopped and he believed the driver was shooting at them from a distance of thirty-five to forty yards. We have been trying for more than a year to determine who was the commander in Khost. None of the soldiers we talk to knows. Captain Scott would know, but he's in Iraq. Just before Christmas, I call Grossman from my classroom during lunch to find out if he can divulge to us that one redacted name. He tells me it was Kauzlarich. "Kauzlarich! He was the commander whose orders basically got two men killed and two others wounded, and he did the investigation?" "Yes, ma'am," Grossman says. I tell everyone in my family the commander in Khost was Kauzlarich. Kevin is absolutely speechless. The next few months I continue to stay in contact with Grossman. Kevin and I have really grown to like him and trust him. We believe he is our ally. In March 2006, I'm in Arizona to participate in a heart walk for a young friend, Emery Miller. While watching the news at Emery's house, we hear the inspector general announce that investigators have found evidence of possible homicidal negligence in Pat's death, and he orders the Army's criminal investigation division (CID) to investigate. Finally, Pat's death will be treated as a potential crime. I feel something will be done; Pat will get justice. However, a week or so later, Marie tells me she has spoken to Dale Jefferies, the lead inspector general for the CID in Pat's case. She tells me talking to him is awkward, and she doesn't feel he is very committed to getting at the truth. Not long afterward, I call Jefferies to discuss the field hospital report. I let him know I'm very suspicious about the reference to CPR. I also tell him I don't know why the doctor would write "transfer to ICU for cont. CPR." Jefferies tells me the hospital was very busy and was being fired upon. Things got stressful and confusing. "What are you talking about? The field hospital in Salerno is a big hospital," I tell him. "I've seen pictures of it. It's not a MASH unit in Korea." After that conversation, I had no trust in Jefferies or any real hope that the CID would do the right thing. In January, author Jon Krakauer contacted Marie, Patrick, and me about writing a book about Pat. Over several months Jon has met the whole family, and we have come to consider him a good friend. I told him I was already working on a book. He sent me an e-mail with an article attached, "Telling Transformative Tales: The Strange Post-Ranger Saga of Pat Tillman," by Stan Goff. The article reveals that Brigadier General Gary Jones was once Mr. Goff's battalion commander. Jones liked and trusted Master Sergeant Goff, and Goff respected him. However, events unfolded while the two were in Haiti that Goff said caused him to question the character of his commander and ultimately lose respect for him. Twelve years later, Goff learns that Jones has become an inspector general, put in charge of "making it appear that the Army will properly investigate itself in the case" of Pat's death. The most chilling part of the article reads:
I immediately e-mail the editor of the site where it was published and ask Mr. Goff to contact me. Within several days, I have a phone conversation with Stan. He is a fascinating man and very knowledgeable about politics, the military, and life. He agrees to help my family get to the truth. The inspector general and the CID investigations are dragging. Grossman told us that the investigation might be finished in September, but it's May and the investigation is not close to being closed. I trust Grossman, but I'm worried that nothing substantial will come of these efforts. I decide to start pushing for a congressional hearing in the event the two investigations lead nowhere. I contact the offices of Congressmen Honda and Kucinich and Senator Barbara Boxer, trying to impress on them the need to have the situation reviewed by Congress. On June 23, 2006, I read in the paper that Iraqi trainees murdered Sergeant Patrick McCaffrey and Second Lieutenant Andre Tyson, both members of the California National Guard, on June 22, 2004. Patrick McCaffrey's mother, Nadia, and Andre Tyson's family were initially told insurgents killed their sons in an ambush. An Army investigation concluded in September of 2005 that the two soldiers were murdered for bounty; it has taken nine months for the Army to tell the families. I'm so sickened by this story. The Army continues to lie about the deaths of soldiers. First Lieutenant Ken Ballard died on May 30, 2004. His mother, Karen Meredith, was told he was killed in an ambush. Fifteen months later, she was informed that he was struck with a five-round burst from a 240-mm machine gun when a tree branch struck the weapon, which was mounted on a tank. It was well established that the gun killed Ken when it accidentally went off, but military personnel chose to lie to Ken's mother. It disturbs me that nearly all the mothers of fallen soldiers I have met or spoken to on the phone have lost their sons because of fratricide or, in Nadia's case, homicide. I also wonder if the reason the military lied to these parents is because Pat's fratricide was so high profile, and a cluster of them would be a public relations debacle. Ken Ballard died a day after Pat's fratricide was announced. Jesse Buryj died only days after that, and Patrick McCaffrey and Andre Tyson were killed exactly two months after Pat. Except for Jesse, all these soldiers were from California. Dolores Kesterson's son died in 2003, but technically her son's death was also a fratricide. It's early August; I call Brian Grossman about the interview Kauzlarich did with journalist Mike Fish, in which he says that our family can't put Pat to rest because we're "not Christians" and suggests we have to think of Pat as "worm dirt" since non-Christians don't believe in an afterlife. During the conversation, I mention my dismay at Kauzlarich being the officer in command at the tactical operations center and the one who did the second investigation. Grossman stops me and tells me that Kauzlarich was not the commander at the TOC. "But back in December when I asked you who was in charge at the TOC you told me Kauzlarich. I even had expressed shock that he was the commander and the investigator." "I never said Kauzlarich was in command at the TOC," Grossman says. "Actually, Major Hodne was the commander at the TOC." I'm certain he told me Kauzlarich was in charge because I immediately relayed that to my family and journalists working on stories about Pat; now I have to tell them I was wrong. Stan has written several Internet articles he needs to correct. I feel bad about this and wonder if Brian threw me off on purpose for some reason. He has always made me feel pretty comfortable, but this makes me uneasy. The only other time I felt that way was when he reprimanded me for trying to get in touch with Gcneral Jones. I made an attempt to call the general at Fort Bragg to see if he would talk to me. I learned that he had retired. I left my phone number so it could be passed along to the general. Instead of calling me, he called the inspector general, and Brian called and firmly chastised me for trying to get in touch with Jones. I can't believe my family and I have believed for so long Kauzlarich was the CFT commander. It was Major Hodne. I had only heard his name mentioned when Kevin had believed he was the one who completed the regimental investigation. All this time we have concentrated on learning the actions of the wrong person. Major Hodne is the one who gave the order to split the troops, ignoring Uthlaut's insistence that splitting would be too dangerous. Major Hodne is the one who denied knowing the troops were split. Major Hodne is the man for whom Captain Saunders fell on the sword. It is important that the IG and CID investigators find out what happened with Major Hodne and Saunders at the TOC. I have been so caught up in the investigation and teaching that I decide one day to get away and take a day trip with my friend Sherri to Half Moon Bay, about fifty miles away on the coast. While there, I get a call from a friend. "Dannie, what are you doing?" she asks, sounding as if something is wrong. "I'm in Half Moon Bay with Sherri." "Kevin is going to kill me for telling you, but Dannie, you have to get on a computer and read Truthdig.com. "What's going on? I don't have access to a computer," I tell her. "Kevin has written the most amazing article in honor of Pat." "I usually read Truthdig first thing in the morning, but we left early to come here. Can you read it to me?" "Sure!" she says, and begins:
I can barely speak. I'm so proud of Kevin. The piece is powerful, poignant, and honest, but it is also hopeful. I call him right away. I can tell he has been anxious to hear from me to get my reaction. I tell him Pat would be in awe and that I believe it will impact the election. It's a poem with the power to incite. Kevin could make no greater tribute to his brother. For several months Marie and Stan have tried to arrange for medical experts to view Pat's autopsy report, autopsy photographs, and medical documents in order to clear up concerns we have had about Pat's wounds. In November, Stan arranges to have forensic pathologist Dr. Robert Bux, the coroner of El Paso County, Colorado, and ballistic expert Dr. Vincent DiMaio, a retired Texas medical examiner renowned nationally for his textbook on gunshot wounds, meet him in Rockville, Maryland, headquarters of the Armed Forces medical examiner. Unfortunately, the Army will not permit Stan to accompany these experts to view the pictures or documents. However, Stan does get to meet with them prior to their appointment. I'm annoyed and a bit baffled when I learn that neither Dr. Craig Mallak nor Dr. James Caruso will be present for the experts to question. I can't help but wonder if they are purposely unavailable. Dr. Bux sends me a document with their conclusions.
After reading the report of Dr. Bux and Dr. Di Maio, I become very angry. We were told there were no bullet fragments left in Pat's body, and all along they have been waiting for analysis. It is also clear that there is little discrepancy as to which caliber weapon killed Pat. A weapon using 5.56 rounds killed him -- the SAW gun. I'm sickened by the allegation that Pat was likely killed by a soldier Pat and Kevin had taken with them to Atlanta, to Judy and Neal McGrath's, on a weekend when he had nowhere to go -- a soldier who wanted to be in a firefight. Kevin had come to San Jose from Arizona for business in January. At around eleven thirty p.m. the phone rang. We figured it was Richard because he often calls late. Kevin answered the phone. I could tell immediately by the look on his face that it wasn't Richard. The person on the other end of the phone line was a young woman named Dawn Hellerman, whose husband, Staff Sergeant Brian Hellerman, was killed in Iraq on August 6, 2003. Dawn was told he was killed in an ambush. Months later she was told by another soldier that someone in his unit killed him. Dawn has two teenage children who are devastated by their father's death. She has tried to find answers but has received no help from the Army or her representatives in North Carolina. Kevin and I give her the names of several investigative journalists, and I tell her we will talk to our congressmen about her situation. After we hang up, I make a note to call Stan in North Carolina the next day. It is now late February. Ever since September, we have received calls from reporters or congressional aides telling us the inspector general and CID investigations are complete or almost complete. Finally, we learn we will be briefed in late March, about three weeks from now. As the briefing gets closer, I have had several discussions with Brian Grossman and James Pavlik, the assistant inspector general, about bringing Stan to the briefing. At first they are adamant that he may not attend, but I explain that he has knowledge of military terms, procedures, and protocol that we don't have. I tell them we are at a disadvantage without his expertise. Mr. Pavlik agrees to allow him to attend. Just before the briefing, several things happened that we didn't expect. First, we thought we would be briefed before Congress and the press were, and we didn't expect any of the conclusions to be released prior to the briefing. Just before the meeting with the inspector general and CID, there is a story in the media that nine officers, including four generals, will be investigated in regard to Pat's death. The article indicates the generals are retired brigadier general Gary Jones and retired lieutenant general Philip Kensinger, along with Brigadier General (formerly colonel) James Nixon and Lieutenant General Stanley McChrystal. The Washington, D.C., media and members of Congress will be briefed simultaneously with us. Our briefing is held in a hotel in downtown San Jose. Patrick, Kevin, Richard, Marie, Stan, and I attend. Representatives from the Department of Defense Office of Inspector General, including Grossman and Pavlik, and CID investigators sit with us around a table in a conference room. A CID investigator presents first. I am expecting Dale Jefferies to be there, but the investigation must have been handed off to someone else. He makes it clear from the start of the presentation that they are not establishing who killed Pat or even what weapon killed him. The investigator suggests that a 5.56 or a 7.62 could have killed Pat, leaving room for the notion that the enemy could have killed him. When I point out what Dr. Bux's report stated, the investigator ignores me. I ask why CID didn't analyze the bullet fragments left in Pat's body; I am given no answer. Kevin becomes very angry when the investigator refers to the village houses as "barns." It is apparent he wants to negate the significance of Baker's men shooting at the buildings. It doesn't seem to matter that there were at least thirty to forty children in the structures. The CID concluded that no rules of engagement (ROE) were broken, even though soldiers didn't identify their targets and shot at waving hands and at buildings from which there was no threat, from which no one was shooting at them. The investigator explains that although reports indicate Pat's diary was missing, they have discovered that it was burned with his other equipment shortly after he died. We are told he had mission-specific information in the book. We are also informed that Pat's flashlight was recovered from a drawer weeks before the briefing. No satisfactory explanation is given as to why Pat's flashlight would be in someone's drawer. The CID continues to claim Baker's vehicle never stopped. The investigator insists the vehicle came out of the canyon and opened fire on the ridgeline in a matter of seconds. The agent then tells us they have finally learned the name of the AMF soldier killed before Pat. For three years no one has been able to tell us the name of this soldier. We are told his name is Thani. "Thani," Kevin says. "That's it?" Just "Thani"? We all find that name to be unbelievable. It seems that most Afghans I know have many names. Thani is also a tribal name in that region. This may have been part of his name, but I don't think we are being told the truth. At this point we are all very angry and realize the briefing is a total sham. Pavlik was originally opposed to having Stan present, but he is the calmest presence on our side of the room. Faced with the wrath of my family, I'm certain Pavlik was now grateful he allowed him to come. At numerous points in the meeting Kevin and I look at Grossman, hoping he will stand up and do the right thing, but he doesn't. Patrick asks questions about the light conditions, Scott's "missing" investigation, and Sayre's actions that day. He asks why Sayre was not held accountable, but the investigator responds with a patronizing stare. There are a lot of angry words about orders from the TOC, CID's inability to learn the AMF soldier's true identity, actions at the field hospital, and concerns about a cover-up, but no questions are answered and no concerns are assuaged. Stan is still the only calm presence on our side of the table. Pavlik provides a book that summarizes the inspector general's findings, and we're given CDs of the CID and Jones reports. We leave the meeting in a state of barely contained outrage. When we arrive at my house, Stan writes a statement to give to the press expressing our dissatisfaction with the investigations and the briefing reads in part: "The characterization of criminal negligence, professional misconduct, battlefield incompetence, concealment and destruction of evidence, deliberate deception, and conspiracy to deceive are not 'missteps.''' Several days after the briefing, an Associated Press reporter is anonymously sent a copy of a P-4 [1] memo written on April 29, 2004, by Major General Stanley McChrystal, who sent the high-priority memo to top generals warning them to inform POTUS -- the president of the United States -- to avoid mentioning the "devastating enemy fire" explanation written on the Silver Star award citation for their upcoming speeches due to the probability that Pat's death was caused by friendly fire. We have been trying for some time to determine when the president or Donald Rumsfeld knew Pat was killed by fratricide, and neither one will talk about it; this memo could be a piece of that puzzle. Of course, the White House was quick to deny any knowledge of the memo. Two of the three recipients of the memo deny receiving it in a timely fashion. One of those generals was Lieutenant General Kensinger, who attended Pat's memorial on May 3. He claims he was in transit to Pat's service on April 29 and never got the memo. This I question strongly; Kensinger was a three-star general, and there was a war going on. I find it hard to believe that message didn't reach him. General John Abizaid claims he was in Iraq and didn't get the memo until sometime in May. General Brian Brown said he got the memo but didn't think it was his responsibility to notify anyone. After learning about this document, I looked up information on Stanley McChrystal, the only general named to be investigated who was unfamiliar to me, and found a rare article that had been written for Newsweek, June 26, 2006.
After reading this article, I am convinced all parties received the memo, and I believe all parties warned the White House as cautioned. Major General McChrystal was/is clearly the "golden child" of Bush and Rumsfeld, and he is the head of JSOC. There is no way the generals who were meant to receive the memo didn't, and there is no way, once they got it, they wouldn't have warned the White House. I realize something else after reading the memo and the Newsweek article. Months ago I came across a testimony in the Jones report in which an individual whose name was redacted makes disturbing statements.
On the next page of the document, it said:
The witness is McChrystal. The following day, March 29, 2007, Tom Bohigian, assistant to Senator Barbara Boxer, sent me a copy of the P-4 memo. O 292234Z April 04 FM Task Force
It's shocking to see how transparent this message is. McChrystal is covering his ass. No wonder Bush and Rumsfeld hold him in such high regard. Not only is he lying about the circumstances surrounding Pat's death, as enemy fire had ceased many minutes before the AMF soldier and Pat were killed, he is proposing false language for the Silver Star narrative. Silver Star awards are not customarily given to soldiers who die by fratricide. I have been told there are other awards for those situations. Since it was known within minutes that Pat's death was obviously a fratricide, the Silver Star was something given to him for public relations purposes and, in my opinion, to stir patriotic feeling. I know Pat's actions were honorable and heroic. The false narrative, which McChrystal clearly helped construct, diminished Pat's true actions. I'm also struck by the last line of the memo, which reads (underline is mine):
First of all, if he wanted to warn the "country's leaders" as soon as they detected it was a fratricide, he should have done it at least three days earlier. There are statements in Brigadier General Jones's report by high-ranking individuals [4] that they knew Pat's death was a suspected fratricide within three days. Second, McChrystal writes that he wants to prevent public embarrassment of our leaders "if the circumstances of Corporal Tillman's death become public." "If' His statement indicates that no one had any intention of telling us, or the public, that Pat was killed by fratricide unless forced to do so. They were forced to do so because the coroner refused to sign the autopsy report and because the Rangers in Pat's platoon were coming home and would start talking. Because Pat's death, based on testimony, was a suspected fratricide within minutes, we should have been told right away. There was already protocol on the books stating that if fratricide is suspected, family members must be told of that suspicion as soon as possible. McChrystal stated in his response to General Jones's question that he informed his superiors because he "felt [we] needed to know [the truth] before the Ceremony." Yet, his P-4 memo says he is informing his superiors so they can prevent the administration from being embarrassed "if" the truth becomes public. It is obvious he is selling a lie; I fear the lie will be bought. Not long after receiving the P-4 memo, I go to hear retired general Wesley Clark speak. My friends Martha Kelley and Sherri Greer are with me. Clark is an articulate and seemingly compassionate man. At the end of his speech, the host asks him questions provided by the audience. "What do you think about the situation with our local hero Pat Tillman?" Pat's death and the circumstances of it have been in the news quite a bit the last several weeks, but I'm still shocked by the question. Clark begins by explaining that friendly fire happens, and the military does its best to prevent such accidents. I clench my jaw, angry that he is addressing the question when he knows nothing about the situation. He then goes on to say he knows some of the generals who are being investigated, and he knows they would never be part of a cover-up. The host moves on to the next question, hut I don't even hear it. I'm furious that the former general would speak to something he knew nothing about. At the end of the presentation, I tell my friends that I have to talk to Clark. He is on a speaking tour; I don't want him speaking about Pat's death as an authority. I walk up to the stage where he is bent over shaking hands and talking to audience members surrounding him. I wait patiently as he speaks to people, but I become anxious that he will suddenly walk away. "Excuse me!" I say loudly. He looks at me. "Excuse me, sir," I say with my voice lowered. "I'm Pat Tillman's mom." He shakes my hand and smiles then starts to turn away, but he turns back to look at me again. "What did you say? Did you say you're Pat Tillman's mom?" "Yes, sir," I say, looking up at him. "General, I don't mean to be rude, but you know nothing of the circumstances of Pat's death. You really shouldn't be saying anything about it if you don't have any facts." He crouches down closer to me. "You're right. Why don't you tell me about it." At that point, his wife and the host of the event walk out from backstage to save him from me. He gently gestures to them that he's fine. "You know," he says, "I was asked a question about your son at last night's forum as well, and I'm afraid I responded the same way. Tell me more about it." Suddenly I remember Martha burned CDs of the CID and Jones reports and gave them to me before we left for the evening. "Sir, I can tell you that a Brigadier General Kensinger was at Pat's memorial service, and knowing full well Pat's death was a fratricide, he let a false narrative be told by a speaker suggesting that Pat died in a gun battle." He looks at his wife with a shocked expression. "I can't believe Phil would do something like that," he says. "We have known him for years." "I have CDs of two investigations in my car. Are you serious about wanting to know more?" "Yes, I'll wait here. Can you get them out of your car?" "I'll be right back." When I return, I hand him the CDs. He then asks for my phone number and tells me he will contact me when he has viewed the discs. I'm extremely grateful that the general is willing to look at the documents. I thank him and his very patient wife. Several days later, while I'm in Arizona for Pat's Run, I find a message on my cell phone from Wesley Clark. He says he looked at the documents and would like to speak to me; he leaves his cell phone number for me to call. I call him back right away. He's in an airport waiting to catch a plane but says he has time to speak to me. He lets me know the documents are disturbing to him, and he understands our family's concern. He says I must continue to pursue answers and tells me to call if I need anything. I let him know that I appreciate his time to look at the documents. I explain that I wanted him to know the truth because it hurts our efforts for him to give misinformation when he speaks to audiences across the country. Pat's death has become very controversial and political. I tell him I don't want Pat's situation to be an impediment to him politically. I just want him to speak about Pat's death with knowledge. He very graciously wishes my family and me luck. We are soon informed that the Congressional Oversight and Government Reform Committee chaired by Henry Waxman will hold a hearing at the end of April. We spend the next several weeks preparing for the hearing, talking to committee staff attorneys to familiarize them with the documents. We are sent formal notification on April 17. I go through evidence and organize it in binders. Kevin prepares and practices the opening statement. On April 24, three years and two days after Pat's death, Kevin, Richard, Marie, Patrick, and I sit in a conference room in the Rayburn Building waiting for the hearing to begin. We are introduced to Jessica Lynch, a lovely and seemingly delicate young woman who obviously is quite honest, courageous, and strong, and Dr. Gene Bolles, the doctor who treated her when she was taken to Landstuhl, Germany. We are finally called to go into the hearing room. Dr. Bolles, Jessica Lynch, Kevin and I take our seats at the table facing the congressional panel. Marie, Richard, and Patrick sit directly behind us. Steve White, who will be participating in the second panel later in the day, is seated next to Marie. Kevin reads his powerful opening statement. Unnervingly, the thirty cameras in front of him flash in his face. I'm amazed at how well he keeps his composure and focus.
Congress had titled the hearing "Misleading Information from the Battlefield." I called Congressman Waxman's attorneys before the hearing to let them know I thought the title of the hearing was misleading. My family and I believe the actions of the Army and, likely, the administration were far too heinous to be called misleading. I think Kevin's words establish that. Kevin also makes it clear that he is angry the government used Pat: "Pat wanted to leave a positive legacy, and he did. For the government to hijack his virtue and legacy is horrific." He also tags the narrative that accompanied the Silver Star "utter fiction," saying the Army believed our family would "sink into our grief." Jessica Lynch testified that "great tales of heroism" were told while she was recovering from her wounds: "My parents' home ... was under siege by the media, all repeating the story of the little girl Rambo from the hills who went down fighting. It was not true. "The bottom line is the American people are capable of determining their own heroes and they don't need to be told elaborate tales." Quite eloquently, she continues. "The truth of war is not always easy to hear, but it is always more heroic than the hype." I make it clear that our family has serious questions about the circumstances surrounding Pat's death. We want to know why the troops were asked to move during daylight hours, why the vehicle had more significance than the mission troops, and why Pat's uniform was burned. Kevin and I both indicate the family is disturbed by the field hospital report that states "CPR [was] performed" on Pat, then he was "transferred to ICU for cont[inued] CPR." Pat had been dead for nearly two hours, and most of his head was gone. I also tell the committee about the appalling remarks Colonel Kauzlarich publicly made about us not being able to accept Pat's death, saying we're not Christians. I tell the committee that I believe Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld knew Pat was killed by fratricide and permitted the cover-up. It is not believable that a man known for his propensity to micromanage would not want to know what happened to his most high-profile soldier. I inform the committee that Pat received a personal letter from Rumsfeld shortly after he and his brother enlisted, commending him for his commitment to serve. Pat was obviously in Rumsfeld's consciousness. It is also not believable to me that General Abizaid didn't know about the P-4 memo McChrystal sent. He told the inspector general that he didn't get the memo until sometime in May because he was in Iraq. However, an American Forces Press Services news release dated April 30, 2004, indicates otherwise: "During a visit to Afghanistan April 29, Abizaid said he spoke to an Army Ranger lieutenant, Tillman's platoon leader, who was injured in the fight that killed Tillman. 'I asked [the lieutenant] yesterday how operations were going; I asked him about Pat Tillman,' Abizaid said." At the time, Pat's lieutenant, David Uthlaut, was unaware that Pat was killed by fratricide or that he himself was wounded by "friendly" bullets. I let the committee know that what Uthlaut knew is not important. What's significant is that General Abizaid, the commander of the United States central command, was in Afghanistan when the situation in Iraq was calamitous. I don't believe Abizaid would have gone to see Uthlaut if he thought the enemy killed Pat, but he would go to see Uthlaut if he suspected Pat was killed by fratricide. When our session with the committee comes to an end, we all go to watch the second panel on the television in the back conference room. We don't want to stay in the hearing room, in part because of the media, but also because we don't want to listen to the witnesses testify looking at the backs of their heads. Patrick does go sit in the hearing room shortly after the session begins. He wants to see them in person. The second panel includes Kevin and Pat's friend, Navy Senior Chief Stephen White; Specialist Bryan O'Neal, the soldier who was with Pat when he was killed; Lieutenant Colonel John Robinson, who was a public affairs officer for central command when Pat was killed; Thomas Gimble, acting Defense Department inspector general; and Brigadier General Rodney Johnson, commanding general of Army criminal investigation command. During O'Neal's testimony, he makes it clear that he was a hundred percent certain Pat was killed by fratricide. He says his battalion commander, Colonel Bailey, told him not to tell Kevin his brother was killed by friendly fire. He also says Colonel Bailey had him sit at a computer to write a statement about what happened the evening Pat was killed. He tells the committee the statement was changed without his consent and used to support Pat's Silver Star. The inspector general's investigation uncovered that Staff Sergeant Matt Weeks's statement was also altered, and neither statement from Weeks or O'Neal was signed. Steve White testifies that he is haunted by the fact that he was the person who read the false narrative of Pat's death to the family and the public. "My role as far as at the memorial -- it's a horrible thing that happened with Pat. I'm the guy that told America how he died basically, at that memorial, and it was incorrect. That does not sit well with me." It is repugnant that the government would set up Pat's good friend, an honorable and decorated officer, a Navy SEAL, to deceive the American public. He said he was the given the fraudulent accounting over the phone by someone he thinks was under Kensinger's command. Committee members are outraged that the inspector general did not follow through to find out who falsified the documents. The investigators found evidence of a cover-up but made no attempt to find out who was responsible. Gimble appears humiliated. Waxman asks Gimble and General Johnson if any punishment was handed down to Kauzlarich for the rude remarks he made to the press about our perceived religious beliefs. They both indicated that nothing had happened to him with regard to his comments. The committee closes the hearing by making it clear it is disturbed by the incompetence associated with Pat's investigations and indicates it will continue to examine the case. It is also apparent the committee is impressed by the integrity and courage Steve White and Bryan O'Neal displayed. As O'Neal testified, I could not help but be affected by the contrast between the poise and sincerity of the twenty-one-year-old soldier versus the nervous demeanor and disoriented testimony of the acting Inspector General, Thomas Gimble. After the hearing I go to the hearing room to meet Bryan O'Neal for the first time. It is emotional for me. Bryan was the last person to see Pat alive. I hug him and I tell him what I had been thinking throughout his whole testimony: "Pat would be very proud of you." Before I leave the hearing room, a woman named Liz Sweet approaches me. Her son Thomas Sweet was killed November 27, 2003. Thomas's death, like Pat's, was under suspicious circumstances. Her attempts to get answers have caused her more anguish. She confides in me that since she has started to get to the truth, the Army has informed her that her son committed suicide. She believes the Army told her that so she would go away. She tells me she hopes the hearing on Pat will open doors for her. I hope that, too. My family and I meet in the conference room with Waxman's attorneys. They assure us they will continue to examine the documents and interview witnesses. Their hope is to have another hearing in several months. Patrick has to leave tonight to get back to San Jose; we go back to the hotel, where we sit in the lobby talking about the hearing until he has to catch his plane. We are very pleased with the outcome and look forward to the next one in hopes of getting more answers. Kevin, Richard, and I have arranged to stay an extra day, but Marie has to leave tomorrow by one o'clock. After having coffee at the hotel, we catch a cab to the National Mall. We walk to memorials we're certain Pat visited when he was here. After Marie leaves for the airport, Richard, Kevin, and I go on a tour of the Capitol with two interns from Waxman's office, Matt and Bonnie. They are wonderful young people. Kevin and Rich appreciate that they each have a great sense of humor. Their tour was a perfect end to our visit. One month after the hearing, Colonel Bailey sends O'Neal an e-mail critical of his testimony and accusing him of not being entirely truthful. O'Neal, who was next to Pat and could see who was shooting right at them, received this:
Within a few days of returning home, I begin looking at the CID and Jones reports again. I want to have questions ready for Waxman's committee should we get another hearing. A week later, I get a call from Meri Maben, Congressman Honda's assistant. She tells me Congress has been successful getting the unredacted documents from the Department of Defense, and I can view them in Honda's office. Patrick gets a call from Zoe Lofgren's office about the same time. He has access to the documents she was sent. As soon as school gets out for the summer, I go each day to Honda's office to read the unredacted documents and fill in names and other information in my binders where that information is blacked out. It's consuming and emotionally draining but very revealing. It takes weeks. There are days I become very angry that my family and I have to do this, just to get the truth that should have been forthcoming from the moment Pat died. In July, we learn there will be another hearing on August 1.We are told Rumsfeld; and retired generals Kensinger, Abizaid, and Brown are being invited. We are also told Rumsfeld won't be coming and Kensinger probably won't, either. I know this is very significant; not only did Congressman Waxman have to push for this, but Minority Leader Tom Davis had to push hard as well. I become even more determined to gather information for Waxman's committee. Two weeks before the hearing, I type a narrative of the greatest discrepancies and our biggest concerns, which I then use as a basis for my presentation to Congress to help keep my facts straight.
Within days of the hearing, I receive a copy of an interview the IG agents had with Commander Mallak and the medical examiner. A reporter who got it through the Freedom of Information Act sent it to me. It angers me that the interview was not given to us with the rest of the interviews. This interview is particularly revealing and upsetting. Commander Mallak tells the IG agent that within a day or two after Pat's autopsy, he and Dr. Carruso had concerns. Dr. Carruso contacted Human Resource Command.
We fly into Washington the day before the August 1st hearing. Dave Rapallo, one of Congressman Waxman's attorneys, calls us just after we arrive to let us know that Rumsfeld will be coming. He also tells me that General Myers was in their office that day, and he was asked when Rumsfeld learned of Pat's death by fratricide. Myers responded by saying, "It was common knowledge in the Pentagon that Tillman was killed by friendly fire." I feel very hopeful that something may come of the hearing. Republican Congressman Tom Davis makes a strong opening statement: "Testimony from our previous hearing, and the results of six separate investigations, all show the tragic truth can only fall somewhere between screwup and cover-up, between rampant incompetence and elaborate conspiracy." Waxman reminds Myers about his testimony the day before in which he said most everyone at the Pentagon knew of Pat's fratricide. What a difference a day makes; he denies ever making the earlier statement. Rumsfeld and retired generals Brown, Myers and Abizaid have great difficulty remembering what they knew and when they knew it. Someone sitting next to me whispers, "They have collective amnesia." Rumsfeld was asked several times in various ways when he learned of Pat's death, but he couldn't recall. Code Pink protesters chant "Donald Rumsfeld, you're a war criminal!" I dislike Code Pink's tactic, but I couldn't agree more. Congresswoman Diane Watson asks him about the letter he sent to Pat right after he enlisted in which he praised him for his decision to serve. She also questions Rumsfeld about a memo he wrote to a colleague suggesting Pat was someone to watch because he was so special. She tells him she thought it strange that he took such an interest in Pat while he was alive but didn't even ask what happened to him when he died. He really doesn't respond to her. He says, "I know I would not be involved in a cover-up. I know that no one in the White House suggested such a thing to me. I know the gentlemen sitting next to me are men of enormous integrity and would not participate in something like that." It strikes me that no one telling the truth would respond to a question that way. I know he is lying. Brown, whom I know from the unredacted documents, knew about Pat's fratricide within twenty-four hours. He admits knowing about the likelihood of friendly fire shortly after April 22 but says it wasn't his responsibility to inform the White House or our family. Abizaid claims he didn't learn of Pat's death until sometime in May. No one on the committee pressures him about the fact he originally lied about where he was on April 29 and April 30. He said he was in Iraq, but the Department of Defense Web site indicates he was in Afghanistan talking to Pat's platoon leader on April 28, 2004, and on April 29, the day the P-4 memo was sent, he was at CENTCOM headquarters in Qatar engaged in a teleconference with Pentagon reporters. Even though there is proof he was in Afghanistan, no one pressures him, and when he says he had better things to do that month than be concerned about Pat Tillman, no one gets in his face and says, "Exactly! Then what were you doing there talking to Tillman's platoon leader?" And no one asks him to explain how he could be at his headquarters in Qatar and not be able to receive a high-priority cable from a general issuing a warning for the president. It is disturbing to me that the panel keeps blaming General Kensinger for the fact we weren't notified. I think Kensinger is culpable to a point, but he is not the ultimate bad guy. He would not have been the one to make the decision not to tell us. Just before the hearing, Wesley Clark went on Keith Olbermann's MSNBC program to discuss Pat's case. He said there is definitely an appearance of a cover-up and that cover-up wouldn't start at the three-star level. I don't understand why McChrystal was not punished more severely. His P-4 memo is extremely damning. None of the committee members seems to understand the significance of the memo. Everyone sees it as an attempt on McChrystal's part to do the right thing. However, I think the memo is transparently deceitful. He gives an example of how a false narrative can be written for Pat's Silver Star, and he indicates that no one had any intention of telling the family anything unless forced to do so. He wants to keep the leadership of the country from being embarrassed "if the circumstances of Corporal Tillman's death become public." "If" No one presses the point. No one. It's quite obvious that most of the Republican faction of the committee don't care what happened to Pat. Their indifference and, at times, disdain, is hurtful. I'm disgusted when Representative John Mica calls Rumsfeld a hero. It was inappropriate under the circumstances. Two Republican Committee members make it clear they feel too much time has been spent on Pat's death. Minutes later, one of those congressmen leaves his seat and walks over to my ex-husband, who is listening to crucial testimony, in order to give his condolences in front of the media. Patrick tells him to go away. Shortly after the congressman's retreat, another Republican member of the committee tries to speak with Patrick for the benefit of the camera. Patrick angrily tells him to leave as Waxman begins his final statement. "You've all admitted that the system failed. The public should have known, the family should have known earlier," Waxman says. "None of you feel you personally were responsible, but the system itself didn't work." In closing, Waxman harshly says, "The system didn't work, errors were made -- that's too passive. Somebody should be responsible." Yes, I say to myself. Someone should be responsible. After the hearing we go to a back meeting room to talk to Waxman's attorneys. We let them know we are not happy with the hearing at all. We have spent years gathering information and formulating questions with the hope of being in a forum like this, and we have been let down. Other than Minority Leader Davis, the Republicans on the committee are at best indifferent, but many of them are offensive. It was clear Pat -- and the truth -- didn't matter to them. Most of the Democrats disappoint us as well. Their performance is not what it was in April. They are not prepared and they are unable to think on their feet. We expected more from Congress. Waxman's attorneys apologize for the committee's poor showing and vow the next hearing, should there be one, will be better. The following morning, Kevin, Marie, and I are driven to the Pentagon to talk to Secretary of the Army, Pete Geren, and Chief of Staff of the Army, General George Casey, about the inquiry into the conduct of military personnel involved in Pat's death and its aftermath. We discuss the blatant lies in the investigations and question the insufficient disciplines meted out to the soldiers and officers involved in Pat's case. We are particularly upset with their denial that rules of engagement were broken, when evidence is clear to the contrary. Both men are extremely cordial, frustratingly so, as they insist there was no conspiracy in Pat's case, even though the inspector general cites evidence of suppression in his written report, and in April Congress judged there is indication of a cover-up. At the close of our meeting we agree to disagree, but I promise them that we are not going away. A young Marine is waiting to drive us to the airport. I look back at the Pentagon -- one of the most renowned symbols of our American political system -- eerily aware that our government is as insulated and protected as we are now, sitting in this black government SUV with bulletproof, tinted windows. It seems no one, no matter how determined, can penetrate the lies and deceptions that surround the Bush administration and its institutions. I'm saddened by how the government has betrayed not only Pat, but also the American public. After more than three years of grueling and often painful research, and persistent pushing to get answers, our family has twice been heard before a congressional committee. The forum revealed publicly that there was suppression of evidence in reporting Pat's death and that there was a cover-up. I think of the Representative Henry Waxman's words at the close of the hearing:
As I play that statement through my mind, it occurs to me that it's hard to find out who is responsible and hold them accountable because no one in a position of authority has the will or courage to do so. Pat gave an interview in 2000 in which he discussed how he prepared for a game. He spoke about how he geared up all week, then he tried to remain calm and relaxed during the twenty-four hours before game time. He admitted, though, that he always felt a surge of energy and emotion at the point when the National Anthem was played. He chuckled and said, "I guess I have a patriotic bone in me." The lack of respect Pat's government showed him for his patriotic commitment would break his heart. *** Today, September 8th, is New Almaden Days, and it's my father's birthday; he would be seventy-six years old. This is also the day the community is dedicating a memorial to Pat. A big "Welcome to New Almaden" banner sways over the road and the flags roll with the warm breeze. A decorated golf cart, riders on horseback, fire trucks, and convertibles with honored guests and residents travel the short distance leading to modest Bulmore Park. The community and close friends and family gather around the stone-and-bronze monument, which is shaded with a canvas canopy and draped with a stars-and-stripes bunting. Standing before the crowd, in front of the monument she designed, my next-door neighbor and friend Peggy Melbourne speaks about the Pat she knew: "We decided to dedicate this monument to Patrick because Patrick loved it here. This is what Patrick called home. This is our boy ... We loved having him here .... " Dutch Mapes, the ninety-one-year-old mason who painstakingly built the monument's brick base, pulls the bunting off, uncovering a simple yet skillfully crafted bronze plaque. The likeness in the portrait makes everyone smile. Many people in the crowd move closer to read the inscription with its fitting little grammatical flaw, and to touch Pat's face before walking across the bridge to the celebration. Barbecue, cold drinks, and ice cream are enjoyed by everyone. The kids have a water balloon launch, sponge toss, and treasure fishing, while grown-ups can sip on wine and beer while listening to the country tunes of the One-Eyed Jacks. The sun starts to go down and the air is getting chilly. I walk past La Foret restaurant and across the bridge, stopping to look at the water. A vision unfolds in front of me: three little boys play in the creek, laughing with satisfaction that one of them caught a fish with his bare hands. Smiling, I walk over to the monument and look closely at the image smiling back at me. Touching Pat's cheek, I read the simple words that so earnestly describe his legacy:
Pat lived in New Almaden for most of his life. He came to love it for it's history and community spirit. He roamed the hills with his brothers as a kid, then hiked and trained in them as an athlete and soldier. Pat was a loved son, brother, husband and faithful friend. He was a voracious reader, inquisitive scholar, civic volunteer, aggressive athlete and a patriotic and selfless soldier. New Almaden and the nation lost Patrick Tillman in Afghanistan on April 22, 2004 in service to his country. _______________ Notes: 1. High-priority "Personal For:" memo. 2. Vice president. 3. Video teleconference. 4. It is clear they are high ranking officers because in their testimonies Brigadier General Jones refers to each of them as "sir." |
