When Terrorists Fear: Popehat Gets a Call From Donna Barstow
by Charles Carreon
November 24, 2013
When you care as little about your enemies as I do, it may
take you a long time to find out what they are saying about
you. On Thursday, for example, I got a phone call from Donna
Barstow. Okay now, you
little Popehat lurkers, you little TechDirt-haulers, Masnick-clones,
Nate Anderson lovers, and Ars Technica drones, you
don’t need to read another word. In fact, you
shouldn’t! Copy this hyperlink and send it to Popehat or
whoever your Net-correctness guru is, so they can tell you
how to think about it.
The rest of you folks, whose minds aren’t wormy with
Net-rot, are now wondering what the hell that was about.
Who’s Donna Barstow? Well, just take a look at this little
photograph of a Google search of the poor woman’s name.
Ah, she’s a Rapeutation victim. Why would she be calling me?
No, Donna, who was once a successful cartoonist, called me
because she thought that I was
posting about her at Charles-Carreon.com, the
not-really-a-parody site that
Paul Levy, the lawyer of choice for nutcase bloggers, forced
me to allow nutcase
blogger Christopher Recouvreur to
operate. I explained to Donna that I don’t write anything
that appears on the site, even though Recouvreur signs his
posts, “Charles Carreon, Esq.,” which was no doubt the cause
of her confusion. But, she said, “Do you think that Ken
White wrote it?” I answered that if it sounded reasonably
intelligent, quite possibly it was written by Ken White,
since Recouvreur is not very smart.
Donna didn’t think the post, a
pseudo-interview between “Charles Carreon” and “Donna
particularly smart, but she still thought it was written by
Ken White. I told her what I knew about Popehat, i.e.,
that he is a
deranged megalomaniac with
powerful legal backing, with a bete noire, a dark
obsession, somewhat Jack-the-Ripperish in its hold over him,
that compels him to commit one
savage Rapeutation after another.
The Ripper was likely a gentleman, a doctor with surgical
training who was allowed to have his way with disposable
women, because the London police have ever been corrupt.
Look at how many London policemen are currently answering
charges in the News of the World scandal, because top brass
at Scotland Yard took bribes and kept the heat off Murdoch’s
phone hacking and privacy invasions of well over a thousand
people. Murdoch’s machine destroyed the reputations of
politicians and stars, and through extortion, allowed him to
exercise control over vulnerable members of Parliament.
London is still a fun town.
Jack the Ripper, by Joshua Hoffine
Los Angeles is another city where shit is kept under glass
and offered up for admiration, and thus it is suitable for
Popehat to have his office there at 333 South Hope Street,
where from his office window, he can take in the spectacle
of a city where iniquity is rewarded wherever one turns. It
must do the devil in his heart good to know that, while he
doesn’t have the time to go out and commit all the crimes
that are happening in LA, someone is taking care of that
while he goes about his work of committing mayhem on the
Internet. Popehat is protected by the media elites in his
role as avenger of the offended sensibilities of every
random geek with a hair up his or her arse. Popehat is
protected not, like the Ripper because he is a gentleman,
but rather because he is a useful idiot who keeps the social
media economy inflated with faux controversies that fuel
posting, flame wars, and the belief that vitriolic,
career-destroying gossip is good. Which is just to say that
he is a charter member of the First Amendment Mafia, in
charge of click-bait merchandising.
What is click-bait merchandising? It is kind of like running
a butcher shop for cannibals. Everyday, people who sell
clicks come to your shop, and they need human-meat to use
for click-bait. Obviously, they want red meat, choice cuts,
with a good name. The name is the most important thing in
click-bait. Names with pre-existing popularity are best,
because nothing is more delicious than eating today what was
off limits yesterday. This explains why Charles Carreon is
considered delicious – he once had a good name and some
modest fame. Today, many people enjoy eating him, without
suffering pangs of conscience, because Popehat revealed him
to be a dangerous beast that had to be put down. As mean as
Charles Carreon was, it’s just luck the meat is any good at
Resident Evil 6 Opens Human Flesh Butcher Shop
Donna Barstow is a very tasty dish, highly valued as
are always prized by cannibals, due to the tender
texture of their meat. Donna was also a very successful
cartoonist, so many people found it pleasant to devour her
flesh once it came on the market.
What was Donna’s sin? What turned her from a human, whom it
would be taboo to eat, to a pile of cold cuts? Like Matt
Inman, she was a cartoonist, and like Matt Inman, she hated
people posting her cartoons on the Internet. Why, then,
isn’t she being celebrated all across the Net, like Matt
Inman? Since Inman’s good for standing up for the sanctity
of copyrights, and Donna’s bad for doing the same thing,
then obviously who Popehat pillories has nothing to do with
the issues. Popehat has no loyalty to principle, and the
decision about who gets rapeutated and put in the butcher
shop has nothing to do with copyrights at all.
What it’s about is style. If, instead of serving DMCA
notices and telling people that the law was on her side,
Donna had drawn cartoons of her enemies
being eaten by killer whales, and done a fund raiser to
save the last Orca pod in Greenland, then she might have
been celebrated like Inman. At least she would not be on the
menu. But instead, being the type who talks back, she
provoked a lengthy interval of King
Syndrome. And now she is on display, sliced into chops
and steaks, right next to the prime rib of Charles Carreon.
What did Donna do that made her the target of that most
deadly of slanders — “racism”?
Donna said Mexico was a bad neighbor-nation.
Like a Bad Neighbor, Mexico is (Still) There, by Donna
Well hell, I’m as Mexican as you get, if genetics are the
grounds for determining the issue, and I’ll tell you
Mexico is a bad neighbor-nation. Not that I think it’s the
fault of the Mexicans that all the border towns are
snakepits of excess. It’s the border, for crimony’s
sake. It’s the fault of the governments on both sides,
and while Mexico is a bad neighbor-nation, the United
States is a really bad neighbor-nation. My views on
the subject of Mexico-USA relations are a matter of record,
with my acapella tune, A
Mexican Fourth of July, being a summary of my
position, and Explode
on the Border, being a lighthearted romp of the
theme of “golfcarts burning in the sun.” I’d have no problem
discussing these issues with Donna or any other conservative
type, but I wouldn’t rapeutate her for her views. That would
be messed up, to use the vernacular.
Donna has a right to her opinions, and how can a “free
speech advocate” like Ken Popehat White set out to destroy
her career because she wanted to express them? And why the
hell does a
jackass like Christopher Recouvreur want
to associate her name with mine in some inane interview? I
suppose it’s supposed to convey the idea that Donna, being
the type of person Chris disrespects, would have to hire a
lawyer whom he also disrespects. Chris – wake up. No
one is interested in your opinions, but could you please
make it clearer that they are your opinions – y’know,
by signing them “Christopher
Donna had these questions in her head when she called Ken
Popehat White in his elevated glass prison in the smog.
Let’s stop right here and get the picture. Popehat is
sitting there behind his desk, his executive chair groaning
under the strain like an Aerostar van with too many
Jehovah’s Witnesses in it. He’s trying to squeeze a few
billable hours out of the day, after having spent most of it sticking
his nose into other people’s business, turning their
lives inside out with his sanctimonious airing of their
purported faults. The phone rings, Popehat picks up.
According to Donna, as soon as she introduced herself, White
sounded frightened, and his voice started shaking. When she
asked him why he was writing nasty things about her, he had
no explanation, but was quick to threaten, “If you sue me,
I’ll win!” Donna asked him what he was so paranoid about –
she hadn’t said anything about suing. He answered, “Your
tone implied threat.” Classic
Popehat – it’s always your fault.
I was in the middle of a busy day when Donna called, but I
put it all on hold to listen to her, because that picture
of Popehat pissing his drawers when
she called him was sweet to behold. That lady could talk as
long as she wanted, and she talked quite a while, because
her gift had earned her my genuine gratitude. I was happy.
My heart nourished, I went back to the day’s labor with
renewed vigor, my mind at ease, knowing Popehat to be, in
very worm I’d imagined.
I draw a few conclusions from Popehat’s fear of Donna. He’s
a terrorist, who worships the power of fear. Fear is his
favorite tool, because he has faith in it. It is the
greatest power in his life. We are all driven by fear, but
only people like Popehat are so frightened that they worship
the power of fear.
Why is it that Popehat is always busy directing fire at
other people? Because he fears people, and is afraid that if
they took a good look at him, they would hate him. Why that
is the case, he best knows, but let us take him at his word.
There’s something detestable about him, and he doesn’t want
people to see it. Popehat’s serial calls to behead this,
that or another Internet heretic conceal a
personality whose deep hatred of others reflects profound
Like a serial killer, Popehat takes one victim after another
to their reputational grave, after a prolonged torture that
Popehat conducts with gusto, while declaring his enjoyment
of the process for the admiration of Internet torture fans
everywhere. But his psychopathy is not complete, for he
fears the consequence of his actions. We could almost feel
sorry for this poor monster that has not quite managed to
throttle its own conscience.
As I mentioned earlier, alluding to the way in which Donna’s
fellow copyright-hawk Matt
Inman was given preferential treatment, Popehat’s style
of discussing Internet speech issues does not lead to free
and open discussion of the issues. Instead, the topic – in
this case Donna’s alleged affront to the dignity of my
fellow-Mexicanos – was lost in ad hominem, and the
issue of our offended Mexican dignity was never discussed.
This is of course, because the point of conducting a
Rapeutation is never to vindicate some moral or political
position, but rather to get on with the
beating, the abuse, the identify-theft and the humiliation.
The only principle that Ken Popehat White stands for is his
right to verbally abuse the targets of his choosing, and it
is the only principle that is being vindicated as his
Reign of Terror continues, unabated by the slightest
intrusion of sense into the
mind of the Internet mob.